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-Lambaste, discredit and otherwise crucify every member of the media, government and blog-land that may have implied, insinuated or even hinted at the possibility that an assassination attempt on a member of Congress from a state that has been the center of recent political turbulence may have had political motives.

-Ignore Fox News’ preliminary suggestions that the gunman may have been an illegal immigrant and focus on the speculations of he or she being a member of the Tea Party gone haywire as if they were the only speculations out there at the time.


-Belittle the obvious connections to fiery rhetoric such as “don’t retreat, reload” and a cross hair map targeting rivals including the victim (which although completely harmless should be immediately removed) by making nonsensical comparisons to such unrelated and innocuous instances as the President’s joking with the Jonas Brothers about hunting them with Predator Drones if they got too close to his daughters. In fact, call it a target map, even tough they are clearly cross hairs and that’s obviously quite different.

-Don’t mention the people at the Tea Party rallies with signs threatening violence. Stress the insanity of the lone gunman as if it is that is the only factor in play, because assuming it is, then all of the aforementioned distasteful and irresponsible practices become OK again.

-Act indignant at the mere thought that toning down the vitriol in American political discourse on both sides may in fact be beneficial for the country. Make sure to drag the conversation down to a level of “who pointed fingers at who first” between the left and right that would make the average first grader proud.

-Make sure to mention Fort Hood and the President’s request that our citizens not view that incident as an indictment of Islam in an attempt to curtail any potential civil unrest, because that’s another chance to make him appear sympathetic to our enemy. Our average listener thinks we’re at war with Islam, don’t forget. Question why he made no such statement this time, even though a similar request would have been impossible, let alone completely impractical, because there were no facts disclosed about the gunman for several hours.

-Continue to beat the drum against a widespread liberal conspiracy that doesn’t really exist, but in the minds of the listeners will certainly end in a Communist Regime, at the same time wondering aloud how such a young man could be so besieged by such paranoia and delusions.

-First and foremost, make sure to fully register your utter disgust with anyone who made the whole thing political.

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-Continue to make the whole thing political.

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