PoliticalDerby.com

Do you remember all the Chuck Norris alliterations we’ve seen this political year?

Fred Thompson has, on one or more occasions, pronounced “nuclear” correctly.
Fred Thompson used to be quite the ladies’ man before he married Jeri. In fact, there’s a fifty percent chance he’s your real father.
In a fight between John Wayne and Chuck Norris, Fred Thompson would win.

Yeah. We all know how that ended.

The above gave way to Palinisms:

Sarah Palin became Alaska’s governor because having five children left her with too much spare energy.
Sarah Padawan Palin is the “other” of whom Yoda spoke.
Sarah Palin is tough enough to shave off Chuck Norris’ beard. With her nails.

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We do it every year, so why stop now? In the Bailout bill that passed the Senate last night, once again they raised the cap on the national debt. The actual wording from Section 122 on page 68 reads:

Subsection (b) of section 3101 of title 31, United States Code, is amended by striking out the dollar limitation contained in such subsection and inserting $11,315,000,000,000.

How convenient. They don’t bother rewriting the legislation, they just amend the old and insert a new number each year. 11.3 TRILLION DOLLARS! Why not once and for all just insert Unlimited? That way we can stop lying to ourselves pretending that there is a restraint, a cap, a ceiling, a hard stop, some number that is just so big they won’t insert it. Because there’s not. No number is too big.

Once we get that out of the way, I propose the Bazillion American Dollars act or BAD. We just pass BAD and all of our problems go away. The Treasury just prints ONE BAZILLION DOLLARS and presto, Social Security is solvent, Medicare, Medicaid, Prescription Drugs – all paid for in advance. Now that’s forward thinking! But why stop there? Why not spread BAD to everyone? Free health care for all, free college, free food for the hungry or even the not so hungry, and while were at it, let’s just pay off everyone’s mortgage – crisis solved!

We could all use a little BAD.

Let’s just get it over with because that’s what we’re really doing, a little at a time.

Barney Frank, that long-standing beacon of legislative power and insight is now telling us that the Republican members of Congress need to “drop the revolt” against the Bush bail out plan. Really? Drop the revolt? How about listen to what the other side has to say Mr. Frank. The GOP legislators are only responding to the American people, their constituents, the people they are supposed to represent and care about. Frank also was shocked at the “level of divisiveness” that surfaced in Thursday’s talks on the plan. I don’t know how Mr. Frank can be surprised, unless he is living under a rock, or not looking out his window, or on the internet, or the poll numbers or any news broadcast. Americans all over the country, from all political persuasions, are frustrated, and mad about this bail out, and they are letting their frustrations be known. I’m glad that some in Congress are standing up, and saying NO to the blank check plan offered by Hank Paulson and George Bush, and agreed to by Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.

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In the words of Hillary Clinton, “Let’s have a conversation”. About what? The Wall Street bail out of course! Michael Reagan (son of Ronald Reagan) thinks the bail out is a “robbery” of the American people. I tend to agree with him, although I am the first to admit I do not understand all of the minutia that are driving the issue, but I understand enough to know that We The People are getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop in the deal.

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From Gallup.com:

A shift in fortunes for the Republicans in Congress is seen in the latest USA Today/Gallup survey, with the Democrats now leading the Republicans by just 3 percentage points, 48% to 45%, in voters’ “generic ballot” preferences for Congress. This is down from consistent double-digit Democratic leads seen on this measure over the past year.

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Congress is back in session. I know you feel as excited about this as I do, no really, I know you do. The question is what will those crazy kids do for the three weeks of hard work on behalf of he American public, they’ve scheduled for themselves? The possibilities are limitless!

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Most of you know I live in Virginia, home to what was once thought to be a “hotly contested” race to replace retiring Senator John Warner. But from the day Mark Warner announced his candidacy I knew this race was 99% over. Then republicans in the Commonwealth nominated a pro-choice moderate (Gilmore), fresh off his hugely successful presidential run, to run against another pro-choice moderate, Warner who had the wisdom to stay out of the white house race for now.

Race fans, this thing is done. Unless Warner gets caught at a Best Western with a crack smoking circus midget (or “little person”, for my PC readers), he can stop campaigning and coast to victory. Anyone disagree?

New numbers from Rasmussen:

Warner Still Way Ahead in Virginia’s Senate Race
Thursday, August 14, 2008

Former Democratic Governor Mark Warner’s lead continues to grow over former Republican Governor Jim Gilmore in Virginia’s race for the United States Senate. The latest Rasmussen Reports telephone survey in the state finds Warner on top 59% to 33%. Last month, Warner enjoyed a 57% to 34% lead.

When “leaners” are included, the Democrat now leads 61% to 35%.

Warner is viewed favorably by 68%, up slightly from 66% in July.

Read the rest.

Alaska Senator Ted Stevens, long a powerful and influential figure in the Senate, is facing political extinction after his indictment on charges of making false statements involving his acceptance of inappropriate gifts. The National Review Online has gone so far as to call for his immediate resignation.

Stevens’ dilemma only worsens a potential disaster in the 2008 election in the Senate, where at the moment, the Republicans are in danger of losing a lot of ground. Currently, GOP seats are in serious danger in Alaska, New Mexico, Colorado, Virginia and New Hampshire.

Here’s one rather interesting point the NRO made about Stevens:

One of Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens’s most memorable moments of the last few years came during the Senate fight over the infamous “Bridge to Nowhere.” In 2005, when Sen. Tom Coburn introduced a measure that would have redirected the money Stevens had earmarked for the bridge to hurricane-ravaged New Orleans, Stevens gave an apoplectic speech on the Senate floor in which he threatened to resign if the Senate passed the measure. It was the nation’s loss that the Senate voted the measure down, simultaneously missing two opportunities.

Classy Ted. Real classy. Why don’t you take some poor kid’s lollipop while you’re at it?

It has come to pass quickly, as many anticipated when the news broke Monday, that New York Governor Eliot Spitzer will step down early next week.

This likely has little impact on the race for the Democratic Presidential nomination, but opens up some interesting dynamics for New York politics. Lt. Governor David Patterson takes over and may wind up naming someone to the Senate seat some predicted he would sit in if Hillary Clinton were to win the Democratic Presidential nomination. There had been talk of Spitzer naming Patterson to fill out Clinton’s term, before Spitzer was felled by the prostitution scandal.

What a Charlie Foxtrot in the Empire State.

As I am sure anyone who reads here often knows, I’m a sports junkie just as much as I am a political junkie.

Well tonight, as I watched SportsCenter on ESPN, those worlds came together in a way I found quite funny.

Pennsylvania Arlen Spector, a “Republican” who is often cited as one of the most liberal GOP Senators, has been digging into the New England Patriots’ alleged cheating via taping their opponents signals to gain an advantage.

Well during a long portion of a segment I watched on SportsCenter, they referred to Spector as “Arlen Spector, D-PA”.

Based on his record, I think a lot of Republicans would appreciate the irony of that mistake by ESPN.

I know I got a nice chuckle out of it.

A woman has come forward to confirm that the prostitution service frequented by Senator David Vitter did in fact, involve prostitution. Wow, and I really thought Vitter’s claim that it was just an “escort” service was gonna fly.

So? Do Republican leaders still stand by Vitter after throwing Larry Craig under the bus? Of course they do.

However, it has nothing to do with gay vs. straight. Senate Republicans will stand by Vitter because he serves in a state with a Democratic governor, who would appoint a Democratic replacement if they forced Vitter out of the Senate.

Craig, conversely, serves in a state with a Republican governor, so getting rid of him had zero consequences for Mitch McConnell and Company. If the governor of Idaho were a Democrat, Republicans would let Larry Craig get all the BJs he wanted before they forced him to resign.

But here’s a scenario: Vitter holds on for a few months, and in November, Republican Bobby Jindal wins the governor’s race down there (it looks like he has a good shot). If the Vitter scandal flares up again, this time with a Republican in the Louisiana Governor’s mansion, then we might start hearing a different tune from the family values party.

It’s hypocrisy, folks. But it’s not about sex, it’s about power.

Probably not, but according to the AP, Senator Craig’s spokesman says his boss is reconsidering:

Craig Reconsiders Decision to Resign
Sep 4 08:39 PM US/Eastern
By JOHN MILLER
Associated Press Writer

BOISE, Idaho (AP) - Sen. Larry Craig is reconsidering his decision to resign after his arrest in a Minnesota airport sex sting and may still fight for his Senate seat, his spokesman said Tuesday evening.

“It’s not such a foregone conclusion anymore, that the only thing he could do was resign,” said Sidney Smith, Craig’s spokesman in Idaho’s capital.

“We’re still preparing as if Senator Craig will resign Sept. 30, but the outcome of the legal case in Minnesota and the ethics investigation will have an impact on whether we’re able to stay in the fight—and stay in the Senate.”

Should he reverse course and fight for his seat? Stay tuned and comment below…

Moderate GOP senator Arlen Specter said on FoxNews Sunday that conservative GOP senator Larry Craig should withdraw his resignation and fight.

GOP Senator: Craig should withdraw resignation

(CNN)–The ranking Republican member of the Senate Judiciary Committee says Idaho Senator Larry Craig should seek to withdraw his guilty plea, and possibly his resignation from the Senate.

“I’d like to see Larry Craig go back to court, seek to withdraw his guilty plea and fight the case,” Senator Arlen Specter said on ‘Fox News Sunday’. Drawing on his earlier experience as District Attorney of Philadelphia, Specter said, “On the evidence Senator Craig wouldn’t be convicted of anything. And he’s got his life on the line and 27 years in the House and Senate, and I’d like to see him fight the case because I think he could be vindicated.”

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve agreed with Specter, but this is one of them. Having listened to the interrogation of Senator Craig, this is as close to textbook entrapment as you can get without having your name and glamour shot appear in a law journal.

The facts:

1. Larry Craig may be gay, but he wasn’t charged with being gay.

2. Larry Craig failed Crisis Management 101 by letting this sit - discoverable by scandal-hungered reporters - in court documents for several months.

3. Larry Craig should not have pled guilty in an effort to make this go away.

4. The “evidence” against him is almost laughable, and as Specter said on FNC, he’s extremely likely to win a court battle.

None of this means Larry Craig should lose his senate seat.

This isn’t just a double standard, (think Vitter, David) this is political arson. A career set aflame by national GOP leaders and 2008 presidential candidates who happen to know the governor of Idaho is a republican who will absolutely, without question, appoint a republican to replace him. As long as the next man or woman has an “R” after their name, who cares?

Would those who called for Craig’s head have thrown him under the bus if he was from Louisiana, or any other state with a democrat in the governor’s mansion? (Don’t answer, that’s rhetorical, we know the answer already.)

Larry Craig should hold a press conference Tuesday and withdraw his resignation, withdraw his guilty plea, apologize for handling it so poorly in the first place, recite a list of others who’ve kept their jobs in far more scandalous circumstances, and go to court.

Then he should fight for votes and make his case that Idahoans should determine whether he keeps his job or not, not the media.

And for Pete’s sake, Senator, whatever you do, narrow that stance.

John Warner will (thankfully) not seek reelection to the Senate. This opens the door for what could be an epic Mark Warner vs. George Allen showdown. Will the macaca come out of hibernation or is he buried for good? Sound off in comments below.

UPDATE: Rep. Tom Davis is going to jump in the race. It should be interesting to see how this moderate fairs in the battle for nomination. He’s a good fit for northern VA, but isn’t nearly conservative enough for most of Virginia’s GOPers.

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Rep. Tom Davis appears to be the first person to throw his hat into the ring in the battle to succeed retiring Sen. John Warner of Virginia. A congressional source close to Davis told CNN Radio’s Lisa Goddard that, “Tom’s running. He didn’t want to say more today because it’s the senator’s day.”

The source reached out to CNN just one hour after Warner announced that he won’t run for re-election in 2008. Davis, a moderate Republican from Northern Virginia, has long eyed succeeding Warner. But Davis could most likely face serious competition from a more conservative candidate. One possibility is former Gov. Jim Gilmore, who gave up his bid for the White House last month.

Recently, I wrote about the lack of Republicans lining up to join the Senate this election cycle. Apparently, the GOP is in even worse shape than it seemed, as the Wyoming branch of the Party is seeking to replace deceased Sen. Craig Thomas through an online application process.

So if you can claim residency in Wyoming and have strong internship experience, apply now.

Or maybe you already missed your shot. The Politico reports none other than Lynne Cheney is being floated as a possible applicant. Apparently, she has somewhat of an in.

The Democrats got their first top-tier Senate challenger Tuesday when Rep. Tom Allen officially declared he will challenge Sen. Susan Collins of Maine.

In a typical year, the popular centrist Collins would cruise to victory. But if ’08 is anything like ’06, voters will be looking for any way to show their displeasure with Bush and the Iraq War. For his part, Allen is happy to make the race all about Iraq, calling it “the worst foreign policy mistake in our nation’s history.”

On CNN yesterday, Collins echoed the recent sentiments of John Boehner and Trent Lott, sending a message to the President that they need to see progress in Iraq by this fall, to save their hides next fall.

Collins: And I do believe that there comes a point in September where if it’s evident that the new strategy is not successful and it’s not going to succeed, that we do have to change course. And that means looking at all the options, including a plan for withdrawing.

For any Republican incumbent facing a tough challenge, distancing oneself from Bush isn’t good enough (see: Lincoln Chafee). As more credible challengers like Allen jump in, expect to see more GOPers pressuring the White House to start bringing troops home.

Apparently, no one does. The Hill examines the dearth of 2008 challengers on the GOP side:

The NRSC has yet to land one substantial candidate, while the DSCC has several candidates in Minnesota and New Hampshire, along with leading candidates and presumptive nominees in Colorado, Idaho and Maine.

Granted, it is very early in the election cycle, and it makes sense that potential candidates are cautious given the beating Republicans took last fall. But it’s still surprising there aren’t more names being floated around. Despite the strong map for Democrats, there are some good openings for Republicans as well, including six Democratic incumbents running in states George Bush won in 2004. And two Senators running for reelection belong to that endangered species: the Southern Democrat. Yet the NRSC has no one to run against Mark Pryor of Arkansas or Mary Landreiu of Louisiana.

Particularly embarrassing is the lack of a candidate to succeed retiring Sen. Wayne Allard, Republican of Colorado.

Of course these things can change quickly, but for Republicans to even have a shot at regaining control of the Senate, they’ll need to get some candidates to the starting gate.

Sen. John Warner’s meager fundraising total is boosting Democrats’ 2008 hopes in once bright red Virginia. The Post reports Warner raised just $500 for his reelection bid during the first quarter (no, there are no zeroes missing). The paltry total is increasing speculation that the 80-year-old former Secretary of the Navy won’t stand for reelection next year.

Democrats are already on a high in the Old Dominion after Jim Webb pulled off the upset of the year, beating Sen. George Allen last November. The Democrat-heavy Washington, D.C. suburbs, one of the nation’s fastest growing areas, helped Webb follow up on the successes of former Gov. Mark Warner and current Gov. Tim Kaine, both Democrats.

The Post notes Mark Warner (the Democrat) says he is considering jumping in the Senate race whether or not John Warner (the Republican) runs. Saving political reporters from a year’s worth of parenthetical clarifications should be reason enough for Warner (either one) to give the race a pass.

Rep. Tom Davis, a well-known moderate Republican, has all but declared he will run if John Warner doesn’t. With three local political giants mulling the race, Virginia appears to be headed for a high profile, expensive contest.

A competitive Senate race could potentially push Virginia into the Presidential swing state column, even though no Democratic presidential candidate has won here since Lyndon B. Johnson in 1964. John Kerry spent money in Virginia during his 2004 campaign, but pulled resources out before November when it became clear he didn’t have a shot at carrying the state.

After a successful tenure as head of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee during the 2006 election cycle, Chuck Schumer has signed up for another go and is stoked about what looks like an advantageous map for Democrats. Of the 32 Senators facing reelection, 20 are Republicans and four of those Republicans are running in states won by John Kerry in 2004 and Al Gore in 2000. (One additional Republican, Wayne Allard of Colorado, has already announced he will not run for reelection). Democrats are particularly bullish about their chances at knocking off the four blue state Republicans – Susan Collins of Maine, John Sununu of New Hampshire, Gordon Smith of Oregon and Norm Coleman of Minnesota – and the GOP is nervous about these seats too.

Schumer knows as well as anyone that the location of contested races is far from the most important factor in the battle for the Senate. After all, the 2006 cycle didn’t look great for Democrats at first – remember all those Republicans getting worked up about the permanent majority? Despite an unfavorable map, Schumer recruited a strong field of candidates who were ready to take advantage of what turned out to be a national wave of anti-Bush sentiment. While it’s hard to say what the national mood will be like 19 months from now, DSCC hopes at this point are pinned on getting their best candidates to the starting gate.

Of the four blue state Republicans, Coleman’s chances in Minnesota are the most difficult to handicap. Comedian and Democratic contender Al Franken raised an impressive $1.3 million in the first quarter, but there is little evidence of whether Minnesotans will move to this self-made candidate. As for the other three races, while Schumer has taken to asking the netroots for help in candidate recruitment, he is really banking on a trio of Washington insiders to put these seats into play. If the DSCC can recruit Rep. Peter DeFazio to challenge Smith and Rep. Tom Allen to go up against Collins, as well as coax former New Hampshire Gov. Jeanne Shaheen into a rematch of her 2002 contest with Sununu, then all three seats will be decidedly in play.

These three potential candidates have made conflicting statements about their intentions; Allen seems the most likely to run, while DeFazio says he’ll run if he wins the lottery. It could be difficult to convince either of these Reps. to give up their safe House seats, especially now that they are finally in the majority (a.k.a. actually able to legislate).

If these top-tier challengers do get in, all three races will be instantly competitive, but the incumbents will by no means be on the ropes. The most important factor for Republicans is that none of their blue state incumbents is another Rick Santorum; although each serves in a nominally Democratic state, they are also all more or less in synch with their constituencies. It’s easy to imagine another Democratic wave sweeping them all out, but if the DSCC can’t convince solid candidates to run, it’s just as easy to imagine all four of these blue state Republicans cruising to easy victories.

Today Al Franken announced that he is seeking the US Senate seat currently held by Republican Norm Coleman. He also used the occasion to reveal that he, too, could be the father of Anna Nicole’s baby.

Would someone please buy Al Franken a calendar? Why he picked Valentine’s and not April Fool’s Day to announce his candidacy for the US Senate is a mystery worthy a independent investigator.

Go ahead, save this post. Al Franken will not be elected to the US Senate. He will, however, be asked to reprise his stirring role in the long-awaited sequel: Stuart Saves His Family II.