Why did the chicken cross the road? In Chicago, it was to get to Logan Square. Mayor Rahm Emmanuel and Alderman “Joe” Moreno are turning the area into the city’s first chicken sanctuary. In case you spent last week on the dark side of the moon, let me explain: Chicago’s rulers are resisting Chick-fil-A’s plans for a new restaurant due to its corporate opposition to homosexual marriage.

Moreno vowed to keep Chick-fil-A out of his district. Emmanuel was a bit more reserved, content to say the company doesn’t measure up to “Chicago values.” Now, let’s remember that Rahm is trumpeting the values of the nation’s most corrupt political city. How can Chick-fil-A reflect “Chicago values”, provide free sandwiches to every Chicagoan who rises from the grave on Election Day? Read more

It can be argued that mankind is nature’s perfect contradiction. We seldom consider issues for which there are logical conclusions. Yet when confronted with senseless violence we’ll make vain attempts to rationalize irrationality. But no matter how hard we work, satisfactory results are unachievable. Explaining the unexplainable is like pushing breakers back into the ocean. So it goes in the aftermath of the Aurora massacre, as pundit after pundit blames firearms and the Second Amendment for the carnage.  Read more

Roger Clemens’ trail is over and he has been cleared of all steroids and perjury charges. The verdict opens the door for the “Rocket’s” detractors to cry foul while his defenders validate his storied career. So it goes with celebrity trials. Each side remains convinced of their rightness no matter the evidence or the jury’s decision.

The Clemens debate will turn to his place in baseball history. Has the seven-time Cy Young winner been irreparably tarnished? Is his name honored or disgraced? Will he enter the Hall of Fame or set-up shop at the Cooperstown city limit with Pete Rose? If Clemens is enshrined what happens to other tainted players from his era: Bonds, McGuire, Sosa, and Palmeiro? It’ll make for interesting hot stove discussions next winter. But the Clemens trial raised a far more important issue than a ballplayer’s legacy. Read more

The justice system is apparently through with John Edwards. But according to the former Senator and presidential candidate, God isn’t. If the Almighty needs a helping hand, Edwards — the legal albatross removed from his neck — is ready to help. He began rehabilitating his image the minute his trial concluded, vowing his devotion to selfless charity on behalf of the children. And then there’s the one about Little Red Riding Hood. Read more

According to the savvy political observers, President Obama will dump Joe Biden in favor of Hillary Clinton. On the surface it seems a plausible strategy. Biden has all the flair of the Ford Pinto: pointless, ignorable, and prone to explode at inopportune times. He’s a gaffe-a-minute sideshow who provides the Obama administration with all the style of a leisure suit. Hillary is the name brand; the erstwhile queen in waiting who could breathe life into a lackluster campaign. Read more

During a commencement speech at UNC-Chapel Hill, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg took a shot at North Carolina voters for having passed Amendment One, which amended the state’s constitution to recognize marriage as a male-female relationship. Bloomberg believes North Carolina singlehandedly proved how many a mile the civil rights march has yet to trudge. But it was Bloomberg who displayed a level of ignorance exceeded only by his colossal hypocrisy. Read more

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.” What about corporations? Apparently, some corporations are more equal than others, or perhaps some are “people” whereas others aren’t. It depends on how an individual corporation’s political twig is bent. Read more

So George Zimmerman is going to trial, where a jury will decide what actually happened between him and Trayvon Martin. Until the trial is finished mulish minds on both sides will cling to their predetermined versions of the truth. Such devout passions deserve their own conspiracy.

Generally, conspiracy theories represent easy explanations for otherwise unexplainable events, or they promote a political agenda. Thus we have “Truthers,” “Birthers,” and tyrannical secret societies propagated by the Illuminati. However, just because most conspiracies are built on fluff rather than substance doesn’t entirely discount the reality of conspiracies. We’re witnessing one in Sanford, Florida. Read more

Most people believe you can hear the ocean roar if you place a conch shell to your ear. I’ve always thought the sound was more like a steady and annoying wind, the kind that blows endlessly in no particular direction. When you think about it in that light, Louis Farrakhan is quite like a conch shell. If you placed his head to your ear you’d likely hear the same sound. Read more

Hilary Rosen’s feud with Ann Romney is over. Yet we’ve seen once again how quick a proponent of a woman’s right to choose will turn on another woman whose choice differs from liberal orthodoxy. Had Romney chosen to abort her five kids she’d have been Rosen’s heroine rather than her target. The same can be said if Ann had shunned family for a career. Read more

Ever wonder how a post-racial America might look? Well, keep wondering. Not only is racism a perpetual human flaw common to all races, but some people will find it when it needn’t be sought. They’ll look where it’s least expected, where no normal person would notice, where Burger King filmed a commercial with Mary J. Blige. Read more

A Supreme Court justice should present an image of intelligence, competence, and wisdom. Such qualities identify sound judgment and inspire public trust. But two of SCOTUS’s “progressive” purists have sullied that image. In fact, we might wonder if a grasp on reality remains requisite for a seat on the high bench.

During ObamaCare arguments Justice Sonia Sotomayor asked, “What’s wrong with leaving this in the hands of those who should be fixing it?” Read more

The classic image of the Hollywood movie set features a gruff director — wearing a beret and chomping a cigar — bellowing, “Lights, camera, action!” The actors then perform their roles. In Sanford, Florida the director might shout, “Lights, camera, Sharpton!”

Although Al Sharpton is a devout blowhard, let’s give the devil his due. Whenever there’s race to hustle or cameras to hog, he never misses his cue. In the wake of Trayvon Martin’s untimely demise, Sharpton delivered a timeless line to the teen’s parents: “they will try to make your son a junkie, thief, assaulter, everything else before this is over.” Read more

The Republican presidential nomination process is more than half complete, meaning Ron Paul’s supporters must face a hard fact. Their candidate won’t be the nominee. His delegate count is one-tenth that of Mitt Romney and only Maine has awarded Paul double-digit delegates. Even when Paul wins, he loses.

That’s not to say Rep. Paul in inconsequential; he’s not. But he has as much chance of winning the Republican nomination as do the Pittsburgh Pirates of winning the 2012 World Series. So, where will Paul’s supporters turn in the general election? Believe it or not, the Obama campaign believes it can court alienated Paulites, citing common ground on budget issues and foreign policy. Read more

Rep. Steny Hoyer (D-MD) is one versatile individual. He proved his mastery of psychoanalysis when he diagnosed TEA Partiers as products of dysfunctional families. He’s now issuing free legal advice to Sandra Fluke, urging her to sue Rush Limbaugh for “slander, libel, and whatever else might be involved.”

A dangerous precedent is established when politicians openly promote lawsuits between citizens. Such use of governmental influence belies a nation where everyone is equal before the law and drives an unnecessary wedge between the populace. Legally, Hoyer isn’t prohibited from supporting Fluke. But ethically he should refrain from encouraging civil litigation. He violated the public’s trust, compromised a potential lawsuit’s integrity, and possibly led Sandra Fluke astray. Read more

Public figures are bound to offend from time to time. Occasionally they’ll stick their foot so far in their mouth they’ll develop athlete’s tongue. Enter Rush Limbaugh, who might need to brush his teeth with fast-acting Tinactin. If you missed it, Rush called Georgetown University student Sandra Fluke some unflattering names after she practically begged congressional Democrats to force Georgetown to meet her contraceptive demands.

The villain is, predictably, anyone who criticizes Sandra Fluke. But keep in mind that Fluke is no innocent bystander; she’s a feminine activist. She knew full well that Georgetown didn’t include contraceptives in student insurance plans before she enrolled. Sandra’s an operative who used her private life to affect public policy, thus inviting criticism. Frankly, Ms. Fluke is symptomatic of the entitlement attitude that has infected our nation. She demands a benefit at someone else’s expense and is willing to grovel at government’s feet to get it. A freedom fighter she’s not. Read more

Once a conspiracy theory takes root nothing deters its adherents. Evidence contrary to the speculation is summarily dismissed as another brick in the conspirer’s wall of secrecy. Thus, the plot thickens.

Now that Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has released details questioning the birth certificate Obama produced last year, birthers could become revitalized. While Arpaio’s findings aren’t unique; they are fuel for smoldering embers. When Obama released his birth record, after excessive and suspicious stonewalling, the birther’s questioned its authenticity. You knew it was coming. Computer images are easily doctored, thus birthers were wise to the cover-up, as they are now. Read more

Gun control activists built their anti-liberty agenda around a simple theme: Guns kill. Never mind that firearms — like any weapon or tool — can accomplish neither good nor evil without an operator. Firearms are so evil that children shouldn’t even play with toy replicas. But banning toy guns is ridiculous, isn’t it? Not so fast. Read more

How can a single innocuous phrase land one ESPN employee a 30-day suspension, cause another employee’s termination, and prompt a national rant about racism? In a bygone day, when common sense trumped banal emotionalism, we’d have laughed at the possibility. But it’s today’s reality and we’re all worse for our so-called enlightenment. 

ESPN’s broadcast and electronic media employed the phrase “Chink in the armor” in reference to New York Knicks guard Jeremy Lin’s first subpar performance. Lin is of Asian heritage. The offending parties became instant racists, and the comments pronouncing their guilt are as innumerable as they are mindless. My question is, quite honestly, has everyone lost their minds? Read more

Before the Affordable Care Act (ACA) became law its critics warned of undesirable consequences hidden within the monstrous and confusing bill. Naysayers then, they’ve become prophets. ObamaCare forces every health plan provider to include free coverage for contraceptive and abortive services.

But there’s a catch. Religious organizations also provide healthcare coverage to their employees. Since ObamaCare offers no religious exemption, church affiliates are required to provide services that conflict with ecclesiastical doctrines. The outcry was immediate, as organizations and charities across the religious spectrum vowed resistance on the grounds that a contraception mandate violates First Amendment freedoms. Therefore, King Obama is compelled to reform his decree, at least in part. He’ll order the insurers behind the religious entities to provide free contraception instead. Read more