If you’re an undocumented worker – or, as some misinformed people might say, an illegal alien – it doesn’t matter if you broke a few laws sneaking into the country. As long as you pay taxes to the IRS. Whether your taxpayer ID matches up with your stolen Social Security Number is a detail that the IRS will sort through. And overlook. You’re paying taxes, and that’s all that matters.

IRS Commissioner John Koskinen has seen the light. More than 11 million points of light in fact. All of which – if only conservatives/moderates/independents/whoever believe the laws of their country should be upheld by their elected government would just shut up – are potential taxpayers, contributing to IRS coffers. And that’s a good thing of course.

So your SSN is stolen. How can we help? Seeing you’re on the right path. It’s not at all a case of “the normal identity theft situation” in Kosiken’s words. Your SSN just happens to be stolen. And as long as you don’t drain dozens of bank accounts with your fake ID, then it’s not a real theft.

This is wonderful. What we have here are the nuts and bolts (or at least the former) of how identity is constructed in our post-modern selfie-stick narcissim-bound society. I am not an illegal. You’re ignorant and racist for calling me that. I am undocumented. And this is how I’m going about undoing my undocumented status.

I’m documenting myself! And the IRS is on my side!

The nuances are exquisite. Theft is not theft until viewed through the prism of identity. Or more accurately, the construction of identity. Not that an illegal who uses a stolen SSN to get a job and then files taxes with a taxpayer ID that does not match up, only wants to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. More likely, they want a job. And a car. And a home. In the country they broke into. But they are not thieves. They are constructing an identity based on illegal entry and stolen documentation. But they are not thieves.

And now they may a clearing house, if you will, for their activities. Hillary Clinton has proposed a national Office of Immigrant Affairs. Where you can get help with your SSN, for example. And it’s clear who should head up the office: Jorge Ramos and John Koskinen. Who else? Informed, passionate. And whose motto is: no human being is an illegal. And an SSN is just a number – even if it happens to be stolen. And a border is just a line in the sand. That you cross as easily as it takes to pay a coyote, steal an SSN, and construct a new identity.

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