One of the great things about a primary is the blatant pandering. Yesterday, Gingrich literally promised Florida voters the moon. Today, Romney is offering them Cuba. Granted, there is a good segment of Floridian voters who have made it absolutely clear that they don’t want Cuba through, you know, leaving Cuba and coming here. However, Romney figures they can have Cuba back all to themselves if his plan comes to fruition.

Romney’s ingenious policy? Wait for the Castro brothers to die. That’s literally the height of his creativity. Granted, this has been the policy of the United States since President Castro kicked out our sugar plantations and fruit companies for essentially using the islands rural populace as slave labor, but it’s bound to work eventually! Romney went on to claim that Obama’s policy, which he dubbed appeasement, of letting Cubans visit their relatives in Cuba and send them money for food has, somehow, helped President Raul Castro stay in power.

Yes, it’s appeasement to permit families to be together and help each other. The alternative to appeasement? Hope someone dies and assume everything will be OK thereafter. This policy was outlined in Winston Churchill’s stirring memoir “I hope this Hitler chap dies, and then I suppose everything will work itself out!” No, I’m sorry, Romney, that still sounds an awful lot like appeasement, except with the additional devotion of scarce resources to continuing to attempt to fight the cold war for no logical reason other than to be able to say that we won it.

A newsflash for the Republican primary candidates, – minus Ron Paul, of course, who seems to have a reasonable understanding of the concept – Cuba does not want to be part of the United States. They were a U.S. protectorate for years, and what did it get them? The right to cut sugar cane for a penny a day, and a dictator named Fulgencio Battista, who was infinitely worse than President Castro in every way. Cuba will not ever negotiate with you on the issue of their basic sovereignty, and right to choose any government system they please, no more so than the U.S. would negotiate with another country on such an absurd issue.

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