We break momentarily from our normal politics to tell this tale.

It was a set up.

I’m in Philadelphia for an industry conference. This morning I was riding high. I had sat forth row in the center for Stuart Varney‘s keynote address, that by the way, was fantastic. I’ve long enjoyed Varney because he is so direct. I even tweeted some of his comments live during his speech (yeah, each word is a separate tweet).

Later, I somehow let David Kaiser talk me into lunch. When we pulled into Tony Luke’s rather than Geno’s or Pat’s, I should have known something was wrong.

I returned to the conference, attended a couple of dud sessions, then returned to my hotel room for the evening only to find this:

Yeah. I have blond hair (even better worse, click the photo to enlarge it!).

So I don’t know how he did it, but Kaiser managed to get into my room with a friend who has black hair, use my razor, leave gobs of hair in the razor, on my toothbrush, mouthwash, deodorant, and contact lens case.

However it is also possible that it might have been Attack Watch drones, as I have enjoyed mocking President Obama’s McCarthy Team incessantly.

Perhaps it was our own Political Derby obsessive Ron Paul contingency because despite leaning toward his views, I just cannot join the irrational crazies.

Maybe it was Edgar. He does have black hair.

But likely it was the “housekeeping” at the Embassy Suites where I am staying.

Seriously, everything written here actually happened today. This was the most disgusting, nasty, repulsive, thing I have ever experienced in a hotel. So thanks Hilton brands for leaving me squeamish in my own hotel room, afraid to leave anything behind. I don’t think I’ll be needing your “cleaning” service the rest of my stay and despite my Diamond status, it will be very difficult to come back.

Though the case against Kaiser is compelling…. I’ll call Attack Watch! now.