It’s the Republican Armageddon! Everybody panic; Rick Perry stumbled over his words and now he can’t possibly be our candidate! Romney is not conservative enough. Paul is unelectable. Bachmann is a walking blooper reel. Cain is funny but not a serious candidate. Santorum has clearly missed the last four years and is still talking about social issues instead of the economy. Gingrich believes his new opponent for the nomination is the media. Huntsman just realized he accidentally is running for the Republican nomination instead of the Democratic primary he should be in. Where do we go from here? Who can we find to save our party?

Chris Christie to the rescue! He may not be faster than a speeding bullet but I’d put money on him being able to out eat Superman. That counts for something, right? Republicans have a serious problem but it’s not what you probably think it is. Our problem is quite simple, we always feel like a new candidate will be the solution to beating Obama.

It’s our get out of jail free card. “Hey, are we not getting enough attention in this primary? No problem, why don’t we just throw in another candidate to take care of that.”

We need Palin, we need Ryan, we need Daniels, and Christie too! The more the merrier for 2012. This is the attitude that has given us such an odd group of candidates. 2011 has been such a chaotic political year that it has become a form of entertainment for many pathetic people such as me.

Honestly, we might be the pickiest voters I have ever witnessed. It is impossible to please the establishment, the Tea Party, the base of religious voters, and independents all at the same time. I don’t know why but we have been looking for the anti-Romney candidate for a while now. There is something about Romney that leaves the party just a tad bit nervous. This unsettling feeling causes the party to jump from candidate to candidate. Its a whirlwind of ups and downs. First it was Pawlenty, then Bachmann, then Perry, and now we are looking at Christie.

Each anti-Romney candidate has faltered at some point while Romney has weathered winds from each direction and stayed the course. It’s time for the Grand Old Party to finally move past this phase of denial. This is the field and there should be no more new additions. The process has begun and it’s time to choose who we will back against Obama.

If it is Rick Perry who best represents the party then so be it. If we want to beat Obama then we clearly have Romney who can do that. If we want a different type of candidate who can turn D.C. upside down then you can have your pick of anyone from the rest of the lot. At this point, I am fed up! (That line does not mean that I am supporting Rick Perry). Just pick any candidate you like as long as the answer is not “none of the above.”