Highlights from John Merline at Investor’s Business Daily:

When he says: We need to put politics aside and pass the three pending trade bills.

What he means is: I’ve been holding these bills up for more than two years, but I want to make it look like it’s the Republicans’ fault, and I know I can count on my lap dog media friends not to call me on this blatant falsehood.

When he says: We need to focus on jobs.

What he means is: After $830 billion in stimulus spending, an auto bailout, cash for clunkers and several other multibillion-dollar “jobs” bills, none of which has worked, we need to try more of the same, but please don’t call it a stimulus.

When he says: It’s time to put country ahead of party.

What he means is: If you don’t pass my plan, you’re unpatriotic.

When he says: Our politics are broken.

What he means is: Republicans stubbornly refuse to act like potted plants.

When he says: We need to invest in infrastructure.

What he means is: We need to put more money into the pockets of my public union friends, even though we know from last year that pouring tens of billions of dollars into road projects won’t create jobs

When he says: We need to extend the payroll tax cut and unemployment benefits.

What he means is: I’m completely out of ideas on how to get this economy moving, since these two ideas have already been tried and failed.

When he says: We need temporary, targeted business-tax credits.

What he means is: The government knows best, otherwise, I’d propose an across-the-board tax cut and let the free market sort things out.

When he says: I’ve been aggressively cutting job-choking regulations.

What he means is: I scraped up a few minor rules we can toss overboard, while at the same time I pile up far more expensive new ones.

When he says: To show how serious I am about regulatory reform, I just put off an EPA smog rule.

What he means is: I’m so desperate to get reelected, I’ll try anything. But when I do get reelected, that EPA rule will be the first thing I reinstate.

When he says: We need to invest in clean energy jobs of the future.

What he means is: Pay no attention to all those failed taxpayer-supported “green” companies over there.

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