The Republican primaries have it all! We have a frontrunner many conservatives view as wishy washy, a right wing nut job leading the charge for the Tea Party, a fiery former pizza CEO, a soft spoken nice guy, an unnoticed former Governor… actually make that two unnoticed former Governors, a Texan waging all out war on the Federal Reserve, a social conservative with a Google problem, a mayor who doesn’t know if he is in or out, the most divisive Vice Presidential candidate ever, a former Speaker of the House with no staff but plenty of former wives, the mustache dude, Bush 2.0 holding the breath of every Tea Party voter, and some guy named Thaddeus McCotter. See, this group has a little bit of everything and a whole lot of crazy! Yet out of the dust five candidates’ personalities stick out more than all the others.

Why I Don’t Think These Five Candidates Can Win
• Bachmann reminds me of the conservative version of Nancy Pelosi; put it simply… she scares me. I’m not only scared of her being president, I am scared of Michelle Bachmann in every kind of way. I always feel that at any moment her eyes may pop out of her face and her head explode.
• Cain took himself out of the running with his repeated comments against Islam. Oh wait, my bad, he wasn’t a contender since being the CEO of the nationally irrelevant Godfather’s Pizza is the highlight of his resume’. I mean, really? Their business has a mascot cornier than Ronald McDonald and the Burger King combined.
• I will admit Huntsman has some awesome teeth, but otherwise there is not much to like. He is the typical wuss in the office who can’t stand up to his boss. No marbles; he’s not only soft spoken, he is just soft. When I watched Horrible Bosses, I thought about Jon Huntsman. He can’t stand up to Obama and blast him the way the other candidates do because he worked for Obama.
• Ever look back through your old high school pictures and find that there is one guy you have no memory of in the back of each picture? You just can’t seem to put a finger on the name of that one kinda dorky kid. As the day goes on you get irritated and the question nags on in your brain, “Who was that guy?” That guy was Tim Pawlenty.
• Ron Paul reminds me of your classic American grandpa. His just rambles on and on in the background and after about 15 seconds you subconsciously tune everything he is saying out. He may be a bit loony yet he is actually brilliant. Problem is that after 15 seconds America tunes him out.

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