Two years can be to politics what two minutes is to a football game – an eternity. Two years ago Team Obama rode into DC on the Hope & Change Express full of promises to fundamentally reconstruct America into something more (meaning less) than what she had become. Virtually everyone and every organization would stop at nothing to have The One come and impart his wisdom upon them. Such was the afterglow of the 2008 election cycle.

Obamamania was not limited to the DC Beltway. According to the infallible Wikipedia, no fewer than seven states have schools or other institutions named in honor of The One. Bear in mind that most of these namings were enshrined before or shortly after The One sat in the Big Chair for the first time. Normally Americans wait to name buildings after someone until said someone has actually accomplished something.

But I digress.

Last year at this time, request for presidential speeches – specifically commencement addresses – were pouring into the White House. Nearly 1,000 schools were clamoring for The One to impart wisdom to the graduating masses before they went on either to get more education or do something novel like getting a job.

This year the White House ran the same competition – obviously expecting the same results. So you’d think they’d be excited to tell the world just how many schools want to bask in the presence of The One this year. They’d be issuing a flurry of press releases trumpeting the draw The One has amongst the young and impressionable academians.

They would do this, but you see this year the number that was previously in the thousands barely cracks double digits at 14.

That’s right, dear reader. The President of the United States, leader of the Free World, a man who once turned Mile High Stadium into his own personal Greek coronation ceremony complete with pillars and profound reverberating pronouncements of “this is our moment” echoing across the mountains can no longer book a gig at the local high school gym.

I’m sure there’s a good reason for the drop in applications. My best guess is TOTUS draws too much power from the local electrical grids. Municipal budgets aren’t what they once were and thus The One’s visits are now deemed too expensive. Times are hard, Barry. Heckuva job!