Steny Hoyer’s time as the House’s second in command is complete. But he didn’t accept his demotion quietly. Instead he delivered a psychological evaluation of TEA Party activists. Dr. Hoyer’s diagnosis: “My presumption is they have unhappy families.” 

Thank you Dr. Hoyer. Your keen insight has revealed the true mental state driving the TEA Party. TEA Partiers hate their mothers. They have low self-esteem due to incessant emotional and physical abuse suffered at the hands of their domineering fathers. Likely as not they want to wed their siblings, or perhaps their family pets. The root causes of their familial dysfunctions are limitless. But obviously TEA Partiers were forced to eat too many Brussels sprouts when they were young. 

There’s only flaw (only one?) in Dr. Hoyer’s dysfunctional family theory. Steny Hoyer isn’t a doctor.

Hoyer’s résumé includes a substantial list of accomplishments. He holds two degrees, both from prestigious universities. Hoyer has served on numerous boards and caucuses in both the private and public sectors and he’s a career attorney. But nothing in his background qualifies him to render a psychological evaluation on Aunt Matilda’s Miniature Schnauzer, much less on a grassroots political movement comprising millions of individuals.

Someone on the congressman’s staff must’ve realized the nature–and possible repercussions–of his gaffe and made an attempt at damage control. According to an article, his office released this statement:

Mr. Hoyer clearly meant that everyone has to compromise sometimes as part of a family and that compromise is necessary to successfully govern. He obviously was not referring to the personal family life of a large group of people.

Yeah. And then there’s the one about the goose that laid the golden egg. Hoyer’s “clarification” spins like a category five hurricane. And spin is exactly what one might expect from an attorney who is also a left-wing politician.

If Hoyer didn’t intend to snipe at his political opponents, why comment on the TEA Party at all? He certainly wouldn’t have reached into his “Li’l Shrinks Junior Psychologist Kit” for a psychopathic connection between political activism and family contentment. Had he really meant to highlight the TEA Party’s lack of interest in compromising with Democrats he could’ve said so. It’s not like that’s a guarded secret or deep revelation. In terms of discovery, uncovering acrimony between the TEA Party and liberalism isn’t exactly Columbus’ landing at San Salvador.

Hoyer’s statement wasn’t meant to question the TEA Party’s willingness to reach across the aisle. He meant to discredit his opposition to the greatest possible degree. That’s how demagogues operate; casting dispersion on threatening opinion is a fundamental tactic of the tyrant. It’s Orwellian in theory and totalitarian in practice.

Well, it appears I’m psychoanalyzing Steny Hoyer’s motives. So what? My qualifications for determining another person’s mental state are at least on par with his. After all, I’m not a doctor.


  • Rochelle

    I wonder if it is frustrating to be Mr. Hoyer, and to have absolutely NO CLUE what it is that is driving the Tea Party movement. To still be flummoxed over losing power in this last election. Why can’t he make them angry- uh, because they already are, and not at personal attacks, but at the complete failure of the democratic party to acknowledge that they weren’t royalty, and had to listen to the people. But Hoyer can’t hear that. It doesn’t fit in the bubble he lives in. “It must be a bad family life or poor upbringing,” he babbles as they remove the sign over his door. “Look up family” he yells to a staff member. It’s been a long time since he has fought for the American Family. He must remember what it is. “Whose definition of family do we use?” he asks. “Ours” a staff member answers. “What is that?” He asks. “Uh…” “Just say the Tea Party is bad and bigoted,” they answer. He is still confused.

  • Whodat

    Gird your loins – there’s more to come
    From Steny and his ilk – it will get raucus!
    Oh they will scream
    And they will shout
    And throw more insults all about
    But,who cares? Conservatives control the caucus!

    Wait ’til Pelosi really steams – oh happy day –
    When her botox snaps and pops her face a twist
    From all the anger
    And the leftist rage
    And realizing voters turned the page;
    The demon words and looks – must not be missed!

  • East of Eden

    He totally guessed it….I am unhappy. :( Now, can we go get ice cream? Oh wait, Michelle Obama banned that, now I’m really, really unhappy.

  • Troy La Mana

    “(T)hey have unhappy families.” because Democrats have trashed the Constitution and are ruining the country they love for their children and their children’s children.