Hate to admit it, but me thinks Joe Sestak is screwed. Or maybe not—that I’d hate to admit it, that is, not that Joe’s going to get thrown under the bus. The only question he will be asking is, “do those all-season radials come with white walls?”

In case you’ve been hiding in a cave, or exploring the deeper part of Penn’s Woods for a week with the fam in a cabin like me (remind me to tell you about the personal encounter I had with a bat in my shower), by now you know that Joe has beaten the political equivalent of Freddie Krueger in the primaries – badly too, I might add. Arlen should have prayed for a sunny day in Philly, as well as a blizzard across the rest of the state, in order to win. But alas, like a 60 year-old woman working on a 30 year-old tan, his time in the sun is over (no cancer references intended).

In the meantime, we are hearing all kinds of chatter about Joe admitting someone in Obamaland offered him a job, say admiral of a fleet based in Denver perhaps, so he’d let Specter run unopposed. It would have been moot had Specter won; but now that Joe’s still viable, it’s now an issue that is gaining traction. Or at least should be, once MSDNC puts down the pom-poms and starts to write down things and pay attention.

DemocratsJoe admitted frequently to being offered a job. In fact, Joe said ‘yes’ in so many interviews to being offered a job by the Obama Administration, he started sounding like one of those Sleestaks from some “Land of the Lost” episode – you know, the kind that walked around hissing like they had a strawberry seeds stuck between their teeth: “Sssss…sssss…sss,” – which means, “Darn, these seeds are annoying, but those strawberries sure were worth it!” (Incidentally, how many of you just tried to make a Sleestak noise while reading this?? Gotcha journalism at its finest!)

The way I see it, this is going to end ugly for Joe. “Monty, may we show what’s behind doors 1, 2, and 3?” “Why sure, Pat. Or would you rather he spin the wheel that only has the options of lose a turn, bankruptcy, or just letting Pat Sejak beat the crap out of you?”

1. Joe is lying. You can kiss the Senate good-bye for starters. Not only that, but there are various ethics laws that force Congresspeople to report crimes that are communicated to them (cause you know darn well they’d join right in if it wasn’t on the books!). So he’s gonna have some ‘splainin’ to do, and that could land him in a heap o’trouble. Not a good outcome for Joe.

2. Joe is telling the truth (“Sssss”), and someone in the Bama Admin actually royally screwed up. The question is how high does this go? Rahm-bo? The Obawan himself? Who gets run over by the bus on this one? This could end up ugly for Obama, and Joe’s name of being the guy who accidentally brought this down upon him will not bode well for his future either.

3. (Corollary to #2) Joe is telling the truth, someone goofed in Obamaland, but it will be an underling who will be ceremoniously tossed under the bus. Here’s why it looks bad for Joe: in most cases like that, it involves some seriously secret and high-level negotiations (“um, if you admit to being the stooge, we’ll give you a good reference for you next job at McD’s” – “Why thank you, Mr E. Anything for the Messiah!”)

But wouldn’t that reveal Joe to be the ultimate insider? In a perfect storm year of anti-Dem and anti-establishment, isn’t that a serious headwind to move against?

No matter how you slice it, me thinks Joe Sestak will not live politically past November 2010.

Oh yeah: about the bat. I stepped into the shower early in the morning, only to see a little brown heap of something down by the base of the glass door. I bent over to look at it, thinking it was a mouse. But it didn’t move. I was going to turn on the water anyway, but decided instead to consult the fair missus, especially since I didn’t have my glasses on. She took it well, not freaking out and screaming while running out the front of the cabin. So we got a park ranger with hi-tech equipment (leather gloves) to come in and remove the problem. I’ve had images of a shower stall, a naked man, and a crazed bat flying around in circles since then, and am utterly grateful I don’t need rabies shots.

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