Dear reader, I’m sure you’re aware we live in troubling times. Our nation faces so many “unprecedented” challenges that The One has worn out the term “unprecedented”. Understanding this, I’m sure you’ll be comforted knowing that the United States Congress is at this very minute debating an issue which is vital to the national interests of this great nation. With so much focus on waste in Washington, Congress feels the need to take decisive action.

Today, the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee will hold hearings on an program designed to increase the effective elimination of waste in Federal Buildings around the country. In the hallowed halls of Congress, this legislation is commonly referred to as the “Potty Parity Act”.

No. I’m not making this up. And I do apologize if you’re now cleaning Diet Coke off your computer monitor.

The bill’s sponsor, Tennessee’s very own democrat Steve Cohen had this to say about his vitally important piece of legislation:

The fact is, it’s not a joke. Not only is it not a joke to women, it’s not a joke to men who go with the women who have to wait while they’re standing in line. It’s also politically very popular. It’s the right thing to do and it’s catching up with the cultural lag in our society.

So, let’s review, shall we? We’re fighting two wars, have a $1.6 trillion annual deficit, and terrorists trying to lay waste to Time’s Square one truck bomb at a time. Yet, in the middle of all this, somehow Congress manages to find time to hold hearings on the inequity in restroom facilities.

Quick! Come see the inequity in the system! Help, help! I’m being repressed!

Congressional action on this issue will only lead to fewer restrooms being available to an increasing population. As it has been deemed a public health issue, it will most likely be eventually included in Obamacare. This will require a new federal agency tasked with counting stalls and urinals around the country and making sure everyone’s facilities are equal.

And some people wonder why Americans rate Congress just under used car salesmen.