Tehran Touchdown


Filed Under Races 2010 on Apr 19 

Opting for a gray blazer instead of his trademark Members Only jacket, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad boasted that his gay-free nation is so powerful no one would dare invade it.

Massive troop occupations are so 2003, so the chances of the US invading a third country are slim, but there are still concerns that the Iranians are expanding and fortifying facilities. Not cookie making facilities, no… facilities that may or may not be of use in developing nuclear weapons. Diplomacy (talking, not the cool board game) has been the preferred method of dealing with Iran up to this point, but there has been talk of using air strikes, covert operations and the cast of Jersey Shore to stymie Iran’s nuclear ambitions.

CNN has learned that the Pentagon is updating plans to strike these sites, should President Obama start remembering that he is the Commander-in-Chief and call for such an action. No word on whether such plans include picking up Israel’s dry cleaning, shining their shoes or watching their dog and being the “good guy friend” while they go out on steamy dates with Finland.


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  • David Kaiser, Editor

    Good, because you didn’t buff the hubcaps last time anyway, so I was going to replace you with someone who is a go-getter!

  • Mrs. Rusty Shackleford

    I got an e-mail with David and Jason and Stephen all over it referencing the contributor selection requirement being that you have to have a pulse and thats about it. HMMMMM makes one think.

    • Cordeiro

      All you need is a pulse to write here? That’s it! I’m done washing Kaiser’s car!

  • Red State Eddio

    Chris – Should have just gone with the straight info, rather than subtle sarcasm. I mean, didn’t you know that sexy Iranian women can cause earthquakes? This, right from Mr. NutJob himself:


    If Obama was smart, he’d pipe in some Lady GaGa or that Rihanna chick and let the music take over! Ooh, that’s so simple it’s disturbia-ing…

    • Mrs. Rusty Shackleford


  • Rusty Shackleford

    This blog entry is FUBAR

    • Christopher Nutter

      I’ll be damned if I’m going to let someone who used the phrase “Dispair Inc.” in his blog entry tell me that anything I do is FUBAR.

      Israel is a crummy ally… deal with it.

      • Mrs. Rusty Shackleford

        Whoa Nelly,

        My apologies to you Mr. Nutter if you took offense to my entry, that was not my intent. Please keep in mind that I am the uneducated member of this playground and I typically only open my mouth to change feet. So, as the lowest common denominator here, I immediately got confused by the title of this diatribe, it’s references to gay men having anything to do with this piece, the subtle jab at an Israel or what any of that has to do with Finland.

        That being said, I like your writing style, and your fresh thoughts to the club. Check your feelings at the door.

        • Christopher Nutter

          Apology accepted

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Strike the Mrs. from that….I didn’t change the name from her previous post.


      • Boru

        “Israel is a crummy ally”

        Then why is the US, bankrupt as it is, still giving more money to Israel than any other country?…and Israel ain’t broke.

        I mean that seriously. We need to think long term. It really seems like we are in a hurry to get our hooks in the middle east.

        I suspect that China’s 30 million man excess has something to do with it. China is the *only* country making this excess. Right now that ‘army’ averages around 15…in a few short years, they will be a bunch of sexually repressed men ready to go into business/military/etc.

        Holy competing world orders, Batman!

  • Boru

    Stoooopid Mel Gibson…that crap must really be ingrained in him for him to say that anti-Jew stuff.

    He had it made: celebrity status and wealth! And yet carries around this venom…not to mention hangs out at bars picking up starstruck chicks.

    This is why the world loves Chuck Norris. Get some fame and fortune off of cheesy martial art entertainment…what do ya do? Keep making cheesy martial art entertainment, have lots of kids, marry babes, and start a little exercise machine business. Ironic to the Chuck Norris jokes, Chuck is serious without taking himself too seriously.

    But Mel? He has some kind of superiorty complex. Ditto for Angelina Jolie and Oprah Winfrey.

    Arnold is an exception. He really does deserve to rule the world.

    • Alaina


  • Mrs. Rusty Shackleford

    Ok not getting the reference to Isreal and Finland. Can you clarify? I get sarcasm and how writing sarcasm doesn’t always make it on paper/computer like it sounds in your head, but if you actually have issues with Isreal then clarify. And if that is the case then I have issues with this post on PD.

    • Christopher Nutter

      Apologies, but when I was selected as a contributor I wasn’t told that PD had a zero-tolerance policy with regards to criticism of Israel. Maybe I don’t think they’re as great of ally as others do… maybe I just watched too many Mel Gibson movies this weekend and became subliminally brainwashed, who knows?

      On the other hand, my support for Isreal is solid and unyielding.

      • Boru

        Ah, then it seems you were remarking how sometimes it seems that the US is Israel’s b!tch…fighting their enemies for them.

        Well, considering all the time and money that the US (west) has invested in Israel…and what Israel can do for them, it’s probably more accurate to say that the US is acting on its own best interests than Israel’s. Six of one, half dozen of the other.

        US politicians seem to be all buddy-buddy with Israel, but they know that the relationship is strained and that lots of people are just looking out for themselves.

        Anyway, I still don’t get the Finland reference!

  • Troy La Mana

    What this country should do, but won’t, is let Israel take out the facility. Even if they do you know the Obamanation will condemn them for doing it.

    • Christopher Nutter


      I agree… our “Little Buddy” can definitely make a contribution but I think they’d rather have us do it for them.

  • Boru

    What’s up with this rhetoric? “No word on whether such plans include picking up Israel’s dry cleaning, shining their shoes or watching their dog”

    Also, I don’t get the Finland reference.

    Sadly, I did get the Members Only reference. Mine was black. Hey, it was cool when I wore it!

    • http://www.sotr.us Cordeiro

      I have to echo Boru’s confusion. What gives with hating on Israel? Bad form, sir.

      I’m sure as soon as the finnish translation bots work your post over, you’ll start getting finnish hate mail. Good luck on reading that stuff though.