All is not peachy behind the scenes at Team Obama. After less than five months in office, there are reports of cracks in the foundation of the Obama-Biden (not quite ready for prime time) administration.

I’ve been knocking around the political blogosphere for some years now and I can honestly say I don’t often take the time to poke fun at SlowJoe Biden. It’s simply not much of a challenge. On any given day, SlowJoe makes himself such an easy target it’s like shooting the proverbial fish in a very small barrel. The man whose job it is to keep his heart beating just in case his boss’ ceases to function spends more time off the reservation than he does on it – and this has become a “distraction” for President Obama.

I for one have serious doubts as to whether SlowJoe has The One’s Blackberry email address. But I digress.

It’s not hard to find examples of SlowJoe’s incoherent ramblings which have been giving The One heartburn. Yesterday, Generalissimo Duane Patterson filled in for Blogfather Hugh and played some excerpts of SlowJoe’s commencement address which he inflicted upon Wake Forest University’s Class of 2009.

For the record, every single person who had to sit through that speech is now dumber than they were when they started listening. See if you can make sense of any of the following paragraphs. Read the whole thing at your own risk.

First we have SlowJoe’s dire predictions as to what will happen if we don’t fall in line behind Team Obama:

We’re either going to fundamentally revive our economy and lead the way to the 21st century, or we’re going to fall behind and no longer be the leader of the free world in the 21st century. We’re either going to fundamentally revamp our education system, or remain 17th in the world of graduates from college, and in the process lose our competitive edge and find it difficult to have it restored. We’re either going to fundamentally change our energy policy or remain beholden to those who pose the biggest threats to our security. We’re either going to revive and reverse climate change, or literally drown in our indifference.

How, pray tell, do you “revive” climate change? Does anybody actually believe SlowJoe and Barry have the slightest idea how to “fundamentally revive” the economy?

SlowJoe continues:

Folks, we’re either going to fundamentally change the course of history, or fail the generations that come after us, because change will occur. Non-action is action, unlike most generations.

When I graduated, all had not changed utterly yet. Today, it has. And in the last 12 to 15 years, a terrible beauty has been born. It’s a different world out there than it has been any time in the last millennia. But we have an opportunity to make it beautiful, because it is in motion. We have an opportunity to change it. But absent our leadership, it will continue to careen down the path we’re going now. And that could be terrible. That, folks, is an inflection point.

If failing future generations by our actions, SlowJoe means putting them in debt up to their eyeballs before they draw their first breath, then he’s accurately described the Team Obama budget package. Plan Porkulus is, in fact terrible. As for beauty, I guess that’s truly in the eye of the beholder.

Then SlowJoe tried to channel John Lennon as he shared is virtual imagination with the Wake Forest Demon Decons:

Imagine a country where health care is affordable and available to every single American, where American business can compete again because they don’t bear all the cost; where we can once again gain control of our fiscal future, which is being drowned by the cost of health care. Imagine a country where our carbon footprint shrinks to nothing, and we set an example for the whole world to follow. (Emphasis Added)

I’m sure someone will eventually inform SlowJoe the only way he can reduce his carbon footprint to “nothing” is to quit breathing. I’m pretty sure all the hot carbon dioxide expelled by SlowJoe in this mind numbing speech can only be measured in metric tons. Somewhere in the Arctic Circle, seventeen baby seals and two polar bears died from heat exhaustion.

I think SlowJoe’s non-stop gaffes and general incomprehensibility will eventually cause those close to The One (those with his Blackberry email anyway) to convince The One that SlowJoe can’t be part of the 2012 ticket. As the prospect of a primary challenger to Obama is remote, maybe we here at PD should start a off track pony race for Obama’s 2012 Veep slot.

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