Arlen Specter’s gutter slide


Filed Under General on May 4 

Arlen Specter (Bonehead, PA) didn’t waste any time in cozying up to the gutter snipes of his new party. As many of you know by now, the self-described bleeding heart conservative Jack Kemp died over the weekend after a lengthy battle with cancer. He was 73. I’d like the record to show that I admired Jack Kemp for his blunt spoken conservativeness and despite the fact that he was a quarterback.

Jack Kemp was a decent and honorable man. I cannot and will not say the same thing about Arlen Specter. According to the Senate Jackass Caucus’ newest member, republican policies killed Jack Kemp. Dear reader, I wish I was making this up, but I’m not. Said Arlen:

…as a matter of principle, I’m becoming much more comfortable with the Democrats’ approach. And one of the items that I’m working on, Bob, is funding for medical research. If we had pursued what President Nixon declared in 1970 as the war on cancer, we would have cured many strains. I think Jack Kemp would be alive today.

Now, I’m not a doctor, much less an oncologist and I don’t pretend to be an expert on the disease. That said however, I will say that I’m unaware of the specific cancer Kemp was battling. I’ll hazard a guess that Specter is just as unaware as I am.

Arlen now joins a group of politicians who believe they can cure the masses of crippling maladies by sheer force of rhetoric. Members of this group include John “Breck Girl” Edwards – who claimed a vote for Lurch Kerry would enable people like Christopher Reeve to walk and SlowJoe Biden who once tried to will a paralyzed man to stand from a wheelchair.

Good riddance, Arlen.