My apologies to my PD brethren for not posting anything over the last month. A personal issue: my L5/S1 decided to do the Texas two-step out the “back” door, requiring a little surgery and a lot of Vicodin to clean up. My disc went from looking like a jelly doughnut to a pancake in no time flat. I’ll spare the details on the improvisational restroom facilities for another time and place. But it is good to be back walking on 2 feet and typing once again.

Being pent up flat on my back for over 4 weeks with all the circus antics happening in DC left me spitting at times at the laptop screen, so I’m shootin’ buckshot on a whole mess of topics. Ready, fire, aim…

Mr. GovWrench: Gee, I can’t decide which car I’d like next – The new solar-powered Barrackillac (slogan, courtesy of Madagascar 2: “It’s crack-a lackin’!”) or the veggie oil powered Michellette.

RINO crossing: Kudos to former PA Congressman Pat Toomey for taking on Arlen Specter. Y’all can vote vicariously through my already-decided-upon primary and main election vote for Toomey. I think Senators should be like Fruit-of-the-Loom underwear—clearly labeled so you know what you’re getting into.

Jurassic Politick: Kudos to the Blue Dog Dems (or DINOS) for attempting to stem the tide of the astronomically ridiculous budget that our illustrious Oba-wan has crafted with his magic Keynesian wand. This highlights 2 axioms of Potomac financial living: Never bet on the Wizards (or Redskins) making the playoffs, and never let a community organizer set a national government budget.

HOKUS-POTUS: Can we put a line item in for world peace along with all the other pollyannaish items on the latest budget? Why not?

The earth is flat: Rumor has it that the official acrostic for Pres Obama’s new cap and trade legislation is a toss up between BAS-“Bait and Switch” or SOH-”Sleight of Hand”. Not to be confused with CAE-“cause and effect”, which is what happens after you sign ridiculously repressive pieces of legislation into law and wonder where that great upsurge in GDP went. The belching smokestacks of India would be my first guess…

Memo to TOTUS: Flip the windshield and have the Pres read a brief blog by David Cameron, Britain’s next likely PM, on why fiscal restraint is the correct moral, economic, and political action for these times, not willy-nilly spending like a couple of SoCal girls out with daddy’s credit cards.

Monopoly money 1: I laughed when the Russians proposed a new currency to replace the dollar; I cringed when I saw China was considering the idea; I cried when I saw Tim the T-Man say it was a good idea. Doh! Way to mess up your own recovery, Tim-O.

Monopoly money 2: Inflation will skyrocket in early 2011, just in time for the national election race to heat up and for Mike Huckabee to be cancelled from his gig on Fox. Talk about de-valuing…

Monopoly money 3: Look, let’s be frank. Obama does not want recovery, he wants control. If forced to pick between the two, he will opt for control 37 times out of 10.

March madness: My brackets sucked wind this year. Yeah, I’m mad all right. At least Penn State won the NIT. You know, if Michigan State wins the NCAA, y’all can clamp it about the Big Ten being “non-competitive”.

Gun Show: I can’t wait to recover enough to get back into the gym. Maybe if I work hard enough, one day I’ll have toned arms like the ones Michellie-O was flexing in London.

Populism 101: Jack DeSantis is my AIG hero. We need about 500 more Jack DeSantises sitting in the halls of Congress. Go vote for one.

World Brotherhood of Conservatives Unite: Listening to British MEP’s Daniel Hannan and Nigel Farrage savage Gordon Brown at the Euro parliament the other week was just music to my ears, as opposed to listening to the great Oba-wan, who is lately starting to sound more like muckus in my nostrils. Wow, imagine that – fiscal restraint, self-determination, individual liberty, spoken with passion and clarity. Novel ideas; who’d a thunk it?

WBC 2: Interestingly, when pressed by Neil Cavuto on which US candidate last fall most appealed to MEP Dan Hannan, guess who he said? Hint: His initials were Ron Paul.

I predict: America won’t go down the toilet because the country turns socialist with libs like the Oba-wan in power. America will go down the toilet when all the conservatives and capitalists leave for better work and living options around the world, and all that’s left is ACORN and the Democratic party. Atlas will shrug, blink, sneeze, and just about hock a lugi before that happens, but if pushed enough, it will.

My favorite 2009 quote so far on our current state of governance: “Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage.” Well said, HL Mencken. Not that I’m comparing anyone to a monkey, mind you…

Maybe in the future we can get some kind of podcasting/audio segment for the site. Have I said enough already??

Time to go pop a Vicodin…