I spent most of my snow day slogging through my 2008 tax return with the helpful aid of TurboTax. Somehow I managed to avoid claiming my son’s summer camp as a child care expense, though I was tempted to write off my daughter’s ballet lessons as a higher education credit. I even managed to properly pay my self-employment taxes even though I wasn’t reimbursed for them.

Well, I guess that takes me out of the running to be the next Secretary of the Treasury.

In the midst of this tax slog, the Ravishing Mrs. Cordeiro deposited upon my desk a stack of junk mail and informed me that it was my “turn” to sort through it and determine what was worth keeping. Snow days just aren’t what they used to be. Contained in the stack was a glossy piece of mail from Virginia’s Accidental Senator Jim Webb (D-Washington Post). I, of course, took a look at this piece of mail for no other reason than it was prepared, printed, and mailed at my expense.

There are some days that I regret having my name on the rolls of registered voters. Among other things, it makes me eligible for jury duty and subjects me to campaign propaganda masquerading as constituent outreach from Congress. Webb’s propaganda was no different. He was crowing about his efforts to extend the reach of the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP).

Please spare me the criticism that I’m just a heartless republican who wants to take health care away from poor people. I just find it interesting that my senator wants to take credit for the fact that he was a part of sticking me, the taxpayer, with yet another bill. I work far too hard for an ever shrinking paycheck he seems ever more intent on taking more of in order to give it to people he deems more worthy of it than me.

Memo to Jim Webb: Your timing, sir, is impeccable. The least you could have done was thank me and the other Joe Taxpayers for our contribution to making you feel better about yourself. Frankly, Jim, that bill is getting to be a little steep these days. End Memo.

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