The parable of plan porkulus


Filed Under General on Feb 12 

After having read much of the commentary surrounding Team Obama’s full court press to pass the non-simulative, pork laden, sorry excuse for an economic recovery plan, I’ve only become more frustrated by what passes for solid economic action these days. Like Jason said a few posts ago, you people pretty much know where I stand on Plan Porkulus. I haven’t beaten Jason at golf, but I’m pretty sure I could take him in Wii Golf.

But I digress.

Therefore, on a more lighthearted note, I’ve decided to share with you the Parable of Plan Porkulus. It’s not entirely an original work. Unlike our current Vice-President, I did not entirely plagiarize someone else’s work – I only paraphrased it to make my point. Enjoy!

The Parable of Plan Porkulus

In the beginning was the Election. In the face of the Election, the MSM looked out upon the firmament and said “Let there be Obama!”

And there was Obama. And Obama lacked substance.

“Be ye not concerned,” said the MSM, “for what he lacks of substance we will make up for with style”.

And it came to pass that the nation’s marketplace became troubled and there was much concern among the people. The people, therefore did look to Obama for further light and knowledge in the form of a Plan.

Therefore, Obama did sit in the Oval Office and thought to himself “I have not the economic sense that God gave the turtle. Let me go henceforth and seek out the counsel of the Treasury.”

And Obama did walk across the street to the Treasury and, upon seeking counsel, heard this lament from those who dwelt therein: “Behold, the One, we have not a viable Plan for the SECTREAS knows not how to navigate TurboTax without being beguiled by the very tax code he seeks to enforce. Wherefore seek thou counsel elsewhere.”

Being much perplexed, Obama did journey to Capitol Hill whereupon he met with The Pelosi and Harry of the Barren Desert. “Behold,” he cried, “I am the One heretofore prophesized by Oprah! I won the Election! Create thee with thy minions, therefore, a Plan whereby our Party can beguile the Nation unto the convincing of the People that peace and prosperity can only be accomplished through the merciful actions of a kind and gentle government.”

Thus did The Pelosi and Harry of the Barren Desert descend into the smoke filled caverns of Capitol Hill and did work mightily into the night to create Plan Porkulus. In the morning The Pelosi did stand before the MSM and the evil Republicans and did boldly declare the need to pass Plan Porkulus lest another 500 million jobs be sacrificed upon the economic alter.

And it came to pass that the Republicans did look upon Plan Porkulus in all its obesity and did offer their opinions unto the People and the MSM:

“It is a crock of s**t and it stinketh for behold its simulative value is without form and it altogether lacks substance.”

The MSM did speak unto the people, basking in the afterglow of the Election and also having been recently in the presence of The One and did say:

“It is a container of a vital growth promoting substance with an interesting odor. Nevertheless, as it has been blessed by The One we find it to be fascinating and of good report.”

The Wall Street Journal did look upon Plan Porkulus, and being more polite than House Republicans, did say

“It is a container of excrement with an odor that few can tolerate.”

Wherefore did Harry of the Barren Desert take upon himself the mantle of Plan Porkulus, boldly declaring that

“It contains that which aids plant growth and it is indeed strong.”

SlowJoe Biden did also look upon Plan Porkulus and did say

“It is a powerful promoter of growth, but there is still a 30% chance we’ll be screwed.”

Wherefore The One did extend his mighty hand and venture forth among the People and the assembled worshipping throngs of MSM reporters. He did suffer the poor and downtrodden to come unto him along with the disgruntled fast food workers all the while proclaiming

“This plan will greatly stimulate the growth and efficiency of this country.”

Thus did The Pelosi, Harry of the Barren Desert, and their minions declare in one voice

“This is a good plan!”

And Plan Porkulus became law.

This is how s**t happens.