A children’s story I picked up from the internet, with a few edits courtesy of me…

Once upon a time, on a farm in Washington DC, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, ‘If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?’

‘Not I,’ said the cow.

‘Not I,’ said the duck.

‘Not I,’ said the pig.

‘Not I,’ said the goose.

Then I will do it by myself,’ said the little red hen, and so she did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain. ‘Who will help me reap my wheat?’ asked the little red hen.

‘Not I,’ said the duck.

‘Out of my classification,’ said the pig.

‘I’d lose my seniority,’ said the cow.

‘I’d lose my unemployment compensation,’ said the goose.

‘Then I will do it by myself,’ said the little red hen, and so she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread.

‘Who will help me bake the bread?’ asked the little red hen.

‘That would be overtime for me,’ said the cow.

‘I’d lose my welfare benefits,’ said the duck.

‘I’m a dropout and never learned how,’ said the pig.

‘If I’m to be the only helper, that’s discrimination,’ said the goose.

‘Then I will do it by myself,’ said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They all wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share.

But the little red hen said, ‘No, I shall eat all five loaves by myself.’

‘Excess profits!’ cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)

‘Capitalist pig!’ screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)

‘I demand equal rights!’ yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)

The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)

And they all painted ‘Unfair!’ picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities and heckling her mercilessly till she felt ashamed for working so hard.

Then farmer Obama came along. He said to the little red hen, ‘You must not be so greedy. You must share your windfall profits with others.’

‘But I earned the bread,’ said the little red hen.

‘Exactly,’ said Barack the farmer. ‘That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he or she wants. But under our new progressive government regulations, we need to spread the wealth around and make sure we all get a piece of the pie.’

“But I made a loaf of bread, not a pie.” She said.

“Still applies under rule 954, section 7, paragraph C,” said farmer Obama. “So hand it over, and I’ll make sure you get a slice of it before its all gone.”

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, ‘Boy, am I grateful, for now I truly understand the way to live.’

And she joined the others sitting in the barnyard waiting for food. But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her.

She never again baked bread because she joined the ‘party’ and got her bread for free. In fact, after a while, nobody got any bread at all. “Fairness and equality” had finally arrived. However, individual initiative had ended. Yet nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared…so long as there was free bread that “some rich capitalist animal” out there was preparing for them.

The End.