Newsweak’s Jonathan Alter has come up with a new codename for white redneck racists who will vote against the anointed Obamessiah solely based on his race: the Low Information Voters or LIVs.

Looking into his cloudy racist crystal ball, Alter sees a possible (but highly unlikely) scenario that could (but most likely won’t) play out in eight days that might (but really wouldn’t dare) hand the Presidency to John McCain and leave the Crown Prince of Hope and Change to join Algore and John “Lurch” Kerry in the Also Ran Club.

According to Alter’s worst-case scenario, Florida votes a majority for McCain bolstered by

the critical I-4 corridor near Tampa and in the Panhandle, where the astonishing Republican margins among whites could be attributed only to race.

Yep. All you old white geezers down there along the Florida Panhandle – you’re all a bunch of scared racists.

In the Old Dominion, commonly known as Virginia, Obama wins big in the purple tinged counties of Northern Virginia, but loses out to the

huge McCain margin among whites farther south. They weren’t the racists of their parents’ generation, but they weren’t quite ready to vote for the unthinkable, either.

So all you southern rednecks down there south of Fredericksburg, y’all aren’t nearly the racists your momma and daddy were, but y’all are still too racist to vote for the personification of Hope and Change.

McCain seals the deal with Colorado and New Hampshire, evidently both of those states also unwilling to “vote for the unthinkable”.

So, let’s review, shall we? If you vote for McCain over the anointed Obamessiah, you’re not only racist, but you’re also a stupid, uninformed redneck without any common sense or decency. Those aren’t my words, dear reader, that’s what Jonathan Alter thinks:

Democrats are despairing over the results, fearing they might never view their country in the same light again. Even many Republicans are subdued at the news of McCain’s victory. Having expected him to lose, they know the GOP has now completed a sorry transition from the party of Lincoln to the party of cynicism. McCain, they’re reasoning, might prove a fine president, but it shouldn’t have happened like this.

It probably won’t. Millions of people in the rest of the world assume that Barack Obama cannot be elected because he is black. They assume that the original sin of American history—enshrined in our Constitution—cannot be transcended. I go into next week’s election with a different assumption—that the common sense and decency of the American people will prove the skeptics wrong.

I don’t hold any illusions as to what a tough comeback – something just short of miraculous – that a John McCain victory would be. I’d really like Steven Stark’s nightmare to become reality. What I am getting tired of is beltway echo chamber liberals masquerading as unbiased journalists telling me I’m a racists because I won’t support their anointed Obamessiah.

I have my personal reasons for voting for John McCain.

Ok, maybe I just really want McCain to win so I can see Keith Olbmerman’s head explode on live televsion. There. I said it.

Comments