Remember back in the day when deciding on a presidential candidate didn’t involve, oh let’s say for example, VERIFYING THAT THE CANDIDATE HAD A BIRTH CERTIFICATE?

“Sure, you’re a great candidate Mr. Franklin D. Roosevelt, but what proof do the voters have that you were born?”

Last week the website Daily Kos requested a copy of Sen. Obama’s birth certificate, which they posted on their website. Not to be outdone, Sen. McCain’s campaign decided to release his birth certificate as well, which was also posted on Daily Kos.

Now that both birth certificates are floating around in the ether of the Internets, we can now compare the candidates side by side… starting with their very first day on Earth. Let’s see what we can learn from their birth certificates – and maybe even determine who the better candidate is.

1. BIRTH NAME:

Sen. Obama’s birth certificate clearly spells out his name as “Barack Hussein Obama.”
Contrast this with Sen. McCain’s birth certificate, which spells out his given name as “John American Flag McCain.”

2. BIRTHDATE:

Sen. Obama’s birth certificate lists his birthdate as “August 8, 1961,” which history buffs will remember was only FIVE days before construction began on the Berlin Wall.

Sen. McCain’s birthdate on the other hand is listed as “December 23, 0000,” only days before the birth of Jesus Christ.

That’s right. Sen. Obama caused the Berlin Wall and Sen. McCain caused Jesus.

3. COUNTY OF BIRTH:

We can see from Sen. Obama’s birth certificate that he was born in the County of “Honolulu.” Wait, isn’t Honolulu in Hawaii – and doesn’t liberal Hawaii allow legal-unions for same-sex couples?

Looking at Sen. McCain’s birth certificate we can see that when he was born, “the concept of nations, cities, and counties didn’t even exist yet.” In other words, Sen. McCain is a traditionalist.

4. CERTIFICATE NUMBER:

Sen. Obama – the supposed candidate of transparency – has his certificate number blocked out. How convenient. Have something to hide, Sen. Obama?

Sen. McCain’s certificate number however is listed as the Roman numeral “V.” Sure, maybe the Roman numeral “V” stands for “the 5th person to be born,” but “V” also stands for “Victory.”

5. DOES THIS CHILD WEAR A FLAG PIN:

Sen. McCain’s birth certificate states “yes, I wear several.”

Why look – Sen. Obama’s birth certificate doesn’t even answer the question.

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