You might be a Super Delegate if…
Posted on May 5th, 2008 at 7:43 pm by Contributor ArchiveBarack Obama says on Meet the Press that Hillary Clinton most likely will stay in the race until the end. As of today, the Democratic primary has now lasted approximately 1,342 weeks. What is America to do?
Well fear not, you 72 million registered Democrats (give or take a few million) out there. I have a solution.
Consider the following:
FACT: Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are currently in a statistical tie.
FACT: The only way Barack can offer the final blow OR Hillary can pull ahead is for the super delegates to announce for whom they are voting.
FACT: For some reason, many super delegates across the U.S. have still not announced who they are supporting.
THEREFORE: Most of the super delegates are not aware that they are a super delegate.
It’s simple! Once you know you’re a super delegate… you’ll announce your support for either candidate… and then the greatest debate of all time in the history of time and space will come to an end. But how exactly is a person to whether they’re a super delegate?
YOU MIGHT BE A SUPER DELEGATE IF:
1. You inexplicably feel a large sense of power and responsibility whenever you watch CSPAN.
2. You’re having dinner at Red Lobster, and Ted Kennedy’s paying.
3. You giggle whenever you overhear someone say “I sure wish the super delegates would just decide already.”
4. Oprah sends you a brand new car – and even pays the taxes on it.
5. You wake up with a hangover, after doing shots with Hillary the night before.
6. Barack stops by Burger King while you’re working the evening shift, and tells you he’s so concerned that you only make minimum wage that it keeps him awake at night.
7. You’ve been fake-interviewed by a Daily Show correspondent. Twice.
8. Chelsea asks you if she can put you in her ‘top 8 friends,’ despite the fact that no one uses MySpace anymore.
9. You suddenly starting using words like “gravitas” and “more important than everyone else I know” when describing yourself in an online personal ad.
10. You’re a Nobel Peace Prize winning, Academy Award winning, former vice-president.
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You might be a Super-Delegate if:
After 21 debates and 1,342 weeks you are still too stupid to know who you support.
You might be a superdelegate if…
“You actually listen to Chris Matthews with a hint of interest. Everyday.”
FACT: an insurmountable lead in pledged delegates does not a statistical tie make. Clinton would need to win 69% of the remaining pledged delegates to overtake Obama. This is not a statistical tie, despite the need of Republicans to keep Hillary in the race. Obama only needs to win 33% of the delegates in the remaining races to clinch a majority of pledged delegates. Since he will clearly do better than that, it is a mathematical certainty that he will clinch a majority of the pledged delegates on May 20.
Clinton cannot even get close enough to Obama for the superdels to risk giving her the nomination unless there is some MAJOR scandal that brings him down (the manufactured outrages thus far have failed to dent him enough) Obama is the nominee, and he knows this- its why he’s turned most of his focus to John McCain. Hillary is not the nominee, and she doesn’t know this yet, which is why she’s staying in the race. The myth of a close race is just that- winning by 15 points may not be a lot in football, but we’re playing hockey here, and Obama’s ahead by ten goals in the final minutes of the last period.
most of the superdelegates, according to every report out there, are members of the so called “Pelosi Club” who will vote for the pledged delegate leader at the convention. They are refraining from endorsing until Obama locks that up (whether sooner or later) so Clinton can’t claim she was forced out of the race before the voters have their say.
She’s clinging to this pretty strong, and her exit from the race needs to be handled delicately to make sure her supporters aren’t turned away from the party.
Could it be that John Edwards did not
Want to risk his own home state clout?
So, he’s waited to see who wins, only
Then he brings his endorsement out?
Making him the Superest of all delegates
A real “mother-of-all-delegates”, he!
After tomorrow, would not his pledges
Be enough for somebody’s victory?
Whodat trying to add it all up, but its just too complicated
Whodat, I was trying to find a link to when I wrote just that, but I think it was in a comment thread (back in February?), so needle in haystack.
But I wrote that Edwards has lost too much power to endorse anyone before the convention… if he calls the wrong one, he’s out. He will, however, enthusiastically support the nominee. Tee hee.
And, perhaps, as you
wrote so clear and true
he will actually be
the one to make the nominee.
Tee hee hee.
Toby is hanging onto “insurmountable lead”s and “manufactured outrages” a little too vehemently.
I think Toby is scared Obama is screwing up.. and he’s right.
Obama should have known that Rev. Wright would be a major problem and taken steps to keep Wright on the down-low. Obama should have made Wright retire and sent him to Jamaica for the duration of the election. One doesn’t sit in the pews for 20 years and not know what your reverent really says and feels.
It is a question of character. Who you freely associate with says a lot about how you feel and how you would resolve issues. What isn’t Obama telling us if he can break bread with two racist reverends and an unapologetic terrorist?
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So 1342 weeks is just under 26 years. Did I miss something about how this Democratic Primary has already lasted almost 26 years?
In the mean time, I’m trying to appreciate the entertainment value from all the variables that are helping to drag out the demo nomination. It’s been a rather depressing primary in a lot of ways so the more it feels like it’s self-destructing, the more I enjoy it.
Too funny Fabs.
1342 weeks - it’s all proportional…;-)
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