A clever guest submission by Derby regular George Schumer:

The drama, the laughs, the utter stupidity – yes, we’ve had it all. This primary season has not disappointed, so here are my top 10 memories (so far), in roughly chronological order:

1. Mike Huckabee, on Jesus and capital punishment – “Jesus was too smart to run for public office.” He ducked the question, got a laugh, conquered Iowa.

2. Christmas commercials – Hillary’s gift list (Shoot, where did I put world peace?), Rudy in a fool’s cap (borrowed from campaign manager), Huckabee’s phantom cross (the Jewish Republican turned to Romney).

3. Chuck Norris’ wife – I dreamed we had a torrid affair. Chuck tracked me down and I beat the crap out of him.

4. Rudy G. and Judith Nathan – In the cities, an uneasy feeling; in the heartland, mass vomiting.

5. Fred Thompson – Woke up in the middle of a South Carolina debate and was damn good. Then went back to sleep.

6. Cindy McCain – Plasticky, yes, but HOT plasticky.

7. Mitt Romney – See picture under “dead chameleon.” Nice gel, though.

8. Hillary – Criticism of Obama plagiarism fell flat, but showed some heart at end of Texas debate – by plagiarizing John Edwards.

9. Bill Cunningham – They wanted red meat; he gave ‘em red meat; McCain threw him under the bus. Just dessert: A Coulter/Cunningham 3rd party ticket?

10. McCain/Obama – “Public financing? Did I say that?”

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