Top-ten memories of the primary season

By Jason Wright, Editor

Filed Under Race for White House 2008 on Mar 2 

A clever guest submission by Derby regular George Schumer:

The drama, the laughs, the utter stupidity – yes, we’ve had it all. This primary season has not disappointed, so here are my top 10 memories (so far), in roughly chronological order:

1. Mike Huckabee, on Jesus and capital punishment – “Jesus was too smart to run for public office.” He ducked the question, got a laugh, conquered Iowa.

2. Christmas commercials – Hillary’s gift list (Shoot, where did I put world peace?), Rudy in a fool’s cap (borrowed from campaign manager), Huckabee’s phantom cross (the Jewish Republican turned to Romney).

3. Chuck Norris’ wife – I dreamed we had a torrid affair. Chuck tracked me down and I beat the crap out of him.

4. Rudy G. and Judith Nathan – In the cities, an uneasy feeling; in the heartland, mass vomiting.

5. Fred Thompson – Woke up in the middle of a South Carolina debate and was damn good. Then went back to sleep.

6. Cindy McCain – Plasticky, yes, but HOT plasticky.

7. Mitt Romney – See picture under “dead chameleon.” Nice gel, though.

8. Hillary – Criticism of Obama plagiarism fell flat, but showed some heart at end of Texas debate – by plagiarizing John Edwards.

9. Bill Cunningham – They wanted red meat; he gave ‘em red meat; McCain threw him under the bus. Just dessert: A Coulter/Cunningham 3rd party ticket?

10. McCain/Obama – “Public financing? Did I say that?”

Comments

  • David

    In chronological order:

    1.-First Gop Debate, “Congress spends as Much money as John Edwards in a hair Shop.” By MH. And also all those wanabees.

    2.-All the Hype over Fred Thompson. I Supported him from the begging of the hype, but then by July-August I left supporting him because he did not jump in. He should of got in Late June – early July and stayed awake at the debates.

    3.- Ames Straw Poll:Money Burning Mitt Romney 1st, No Money Huck Who?

    4.- Media Proclaiming RUDY Winner of GOP in september.

    5.-Media Hype ove Newt dies out. In october

    6.-Mike Huckabee surges to statisticall tie in Iowa, media makes him a darling.

    7.- Media turns on Huck, tears him down and builds up Romney the following week.

    8.- Obama climbs to first place in Iowa.

    9-Tancredo drops out and endorses Romney, my though: What happened to Thompson?

    10.- Iowa Caucaus Night

    11-22 NH, Wyoming, Michigan, Nevada, SC,FL, ST1,Mitt Drops out, Super Saturday, Potomac Primary, and many more

  • Stephen

    Top moments no order

    obama beating Hillary in fundraising Q1 2007
    Obama winning Iowa, Hillary third
    Hillary = Philadelphia debate
    The republicans choose mccain out of a crappy field of candidates
    The fly on dodd’s head at 9am Iowa debate
    Obama losing NH
    Huckabee and biblification of constitution
    Ron Paul debates
    Romney explaining his past stancesThe youtube parody ads!Obama winning Texas!

  • Brian H

    1. Hillary on illegal DLs…Was the beginning of the end.

    2. The Ron Paul NUTTERS

    3. McCain Comeback

    4. Rudy Colapse

    5. Freds “Hot” wife

    6. Obama wife being proud of America

    7. Bill destyoying the Clinton brand…That has been fun to watch.

    8. Huck Who?

    9. John Edwards in New Orleans…what a joke.

    10. Oprah