As the electoral calendar creeps ever so slowly toward towards the Democratic National Convention in the Mile High City, the possibility increases that Hillary and Obama will continue the hammer throwing battle right through the summer

Some party insiders are fearful of what this might do to the party. Their fears are not baseless. Every day Hillary and Obama keep up the hammer toss is one more day McCain has to sit back, solidify his base, and sell popcorn to the spectators.

DNC Chairman Howie “I Have A Scream” Dean has set a July 1 deadline for the nomination to be sown up. Evidently, Hillary either didn’t get or threw away the July 1 memo because yesterday she vowed to stay in the race through the Denver convention.

Meanwhile, in the deep dark recesses of the Democratic party’s formerly smoke filled rooms, there are people formulating a contingency plan in the event neither Hillary nor Obama manage to secure the nomination. One scenario being kicked around is the possibility that 100 or so “Superdelegates” could sit out the first ballot – thereby denying both Hillary and Obama of victory – and then those same 100 Superdelegates would offer the nomination to a different person “for the good of the party”.

Who is this person to whom the party elders would turn? Why, none other than Albert Arnold “Algore” Junior. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Algore would ride into the Denver Convention Center on a white Clydesdale horse (a stallion being unable to adequately support him) and save the Democratic Party from self-inflicted defeat. Algore, the Vice-President during the Clinton (Sorry Excuse For) Administration. Algore – the candidate who single-handedly snatched defeat from the jaws of victory in 2000 by inexplicably losing three straight presidential debates to a man who takes the art of mangling the English language to new heights every day.

A side note to those readers suffering from eight years of Bush Derangement Syndrome. Please spare me the “Selected Not Elected” diatribes. Eight years of screaming it doesn’t make it any more palatable. Remember, if Algore had managed to carry his HOME STATE of Tennessee this debate would be moot. End digression.

So, Democratic insiders are now looking to a man who has spent the better part of the past decade jet-setting around the globe warning of impending climactic disasters of biblical proportions unless we all reduce our carbon footprints by returning to the days of the horse and buggy. Wait. Scratch the horse – too much methane emissions. Better go with just the buggy. And don’t breathe too deeply or exhale too much. Remember, Algore preaches this stuff even though his personal carbon footprint is roughly equal to the combined carbon emissions of the states of Ohio, Tennessee, and Kentucky.

Oh, and one more thing. These same insiders would take the nomination from either Hillary or Obama – both of whom have received millions of primary votes – and give it to a man who has received not a single vote since 2000. Talk about thick irony.

And by the way, Al, Academy votes can’t be used in the General Election.

Here endeth the lesson.

Barack Obama, no stranger to controversy, has grasped onto that one issue that will finally silence all those Pastor Wright re-runs: the death of the penny.

While in Pittsburgh on Friday Obama announced that as president he would “seriously consider” eliminating the penny. That’s right! He’ll pull us out of Iraq, fix NAFTA (wink, wink), and once and for all wipe those troublesome copper coins from the face of the earth.

“We have been trying to eliminate the penny for quite some time. For some reason, it always come back,” [Barack] joked. “I’ve got to find out what it is about, who’s lobbying to keep the penny.” Someone in the crowd suggested it was Illinois, the Land of Lincoln. “No! Come on! You’re blaming us?” he said with a grin. “I will seriously consider eliminating the penny – as long as we can find Lincoln another place to land. Because Lincoln’s a pretty important guy,” he concluded.

With no pennies, whatever will become of Christmas Jars? It’s a vast left wing conspiracy! You read it here.

Read the rest.

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In the “so ridiculous that it must be true” section of the news, this gem came out over the Easter holiday… Former Clinton ally and hopeless presidential candidate, Bill Richardson, officially endorsed Barack Obama last week, calling for a new generation of leaders. The Mad Spin Doctor himself, James Carville, noticed a pattern and, considering the time of year on the Christian calendar, declared that Richardson had betrayed Hillary, just as Judas betrayed Jesus in the Bible. Not that Richardson ever really supported Hillary for president – he supported himself before throwing his, ahem, weight behind Obama – but what makes this Carvillian rant so hysterical is that for Richardson to be Judas, that means Hillary is Jesus! There may be few things that Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, atheists, etc. can all agree on, but one is most certainly Hillary Clinton’s lack of divinity.

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I’m not a psychologist nor am I a psychiatrist but despite the fear Tom Cruise might come do a one-half gainer on my couch I’ll take a risk and play one here on the web.

There is much debate in the head shrinker community regarding the existence of Repressed Memory Syndrome. The nuts and bolts on this issue is the mind finds something so horrible it represses the memory thereof so that it can continue to function. Many people have repressed memories. Mine usually center on traumatic events like the opening of my 401K statements.

Memory is a tricky thing. Everybody has stories that get better every time it gets told – for example Uncle Buck’s “fish tales”. The fish grows several inches with each telling. This is fine for fish tales – not so much with events to which there are witnesses, especially the unblinking eye of a CBS camera lens.

Hillary Clinton is currently taking fire from both sides for her “misstatement” about her experiences during a trip to Bosnia in 1996. It seems that, despite her recollections, there was no sniper fire or other dangers during her very short visit to the war torn country. In fact, the Air Force pilot in command of the C-17 on which Her (Less Than) Inevitableness rode said there was “not even a bumblebee” flying when they landed. So much for having to “run to the cars”.

I’ve decided to label this malady as Virtual Memory Syndrome. While it’s not clear as to whether or not it is genetic, it does appear to be transmissible via close contact with another victim. Some here will remember Bill Clinton’s 1996 recollection of black churches being torched when he was a boy in Arkansas. The only problem was the only place those churches were burned was in Bill’s memory. Evidently even a former Clinton (sorry excuse for) Administration member (and current VP contender) suffers from this same syndrome.

When a computer has memory problems, the solution is to either add more RAM or swap out the hard drive. I’m not sure how this could be accomplished with a presidential candidate. Frankly, I’m not sure there’s enough RAM on the market to solve Hillary’s Virtual Memory Syndrome.

Here endeth the lesson.

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A few weeks back I had a good dialog with a PD semi-regular who I considered one of the saner Ron Paul supporters. He was unhappy with the fact that Paul no longer appeared on the list of horses on the GOP side.

The main reason for Paul’s disappearance was simply the fact that John McCain had clinched the nomination. No bias, no collusion, no conspiracy to blackball Ron Paul.

The race was over.

I did make a promise to post something about Ron Paul if I came across anything interesting, and that day has finally come. Time magazine published a very compelling article entitled “Why Ron Paul scares the GOP”.

There was one particular paragraph that stuck home for me:

The real significance of the Paul campaign is not the ubiquitous bumper stickers and lawn signs or the online fund-raising records ($6 million in one day, plus another $4 million, hilariously, on Guy Fawkes Day) but the mirror Paul held up to the modern Republican Party. When his fellow candidates denounced big government, Paul was there to remind them that President Bush and the G.O.P. Congress had shattered spending records and exploded the deficit. When they hailed freedom, Paul asked why they all supported the Patriot Act and other expansions of executive power. And when they called themselves conservatives, Paul asked what was so conservative about sending thousands of young Americans to try to transform the Middle East.

This is the Ron Paul I like, the one I could see myself voting for. The other side of the coin is some of the more goofy ideas that scare people off. Here’s the flip side:

Paul’s supporters aren’t all black-helicopter paranoiacs, but the black-helicopter paranoiacs sure do support Ron Paul. The controversy over a few racist articles in his old newsletters was probably overblown; there’s no evidence that Paul himself was ever a racist. But he is an extremist — partly in the Barry Goldwater extremism-in-defense-of-liberty-is-no-vice sense of the word, but also in the wacky let’s-relitigate-the-currency-debates-of-the-1820s sense of the word. The late William F. Buckley wanted conservatives to stand athwart history yelling stop; Paul seems to want to slam history into reverse. The guy genuinely wants to abolish the Federal Reserve and start circulating gold again.

So Ron continues to run, and run, and run. He’s the Forrest Gump of politics.

But that’s fine by me if his doing so brings some fiscal sanity back to the GOP.

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Enough is enough. Someone needs to do an intervention on Hillary Clinton’s campaign.

Fire the manager or whatever advisor told her to cite her trip to Bosnia as foreign policy experience. If she confused the memory with another, when was she ducking her head under fire while running on a tarmac? Huh?

Didn’t think so.

Fire the advisor who told her to attack Barack Obama by saying the Reverend Jeremiah Wright “wouldn’t be my minister.” Obama’s speech called for racial understanding and part – a big part – of that is comprehending why Wright is his minister (and obviously wouldn’t be Clinton’s unless she were reborn with dark skin).

Fire the candidate may be the best alternative. From this point forward, she is hurting her party by sniping at Obama. She categorically cannot win the nomination with primary victories alone. (Simple math: neither candidate can top 2,025 without the other.)

To expect superdelegates to relinquish their votes for Obama because she wants them to is as silly as her husband’s belief that he was invincible in the Oval Office and its adjoining cubbies.

Jim “Snakehead” Carville better watch his Loosiana (sic) mouth, too. Calling Bill Richardson a “Judas” was definitely over the top. Richardson’s endorsement of the gentleman from Illinois was thoughtful and heartfelt.

(Quick aside – which fits the respective candidate better, the gentlewoman from New York or the gentleman from Illinois?)

The Clinton clan needs to stop burning its bridges while it’s standing on them: That water underneath is cold.

It’s bad enough when a candidate talks about something in a stump speech and it the truth turns out to be a little different. Take “Mr Baseball” Bill Richardson’s claim that he was drafted by the then Kansas City Athletics in 1966. Buzz! Try again Billy.

But the pure foolishness that Hillary Clinton displayed by spewing on about ducking sniper fire and acting like she was some kind of female Rambo is beyond comprehension. I’m surprised they didn’t try to doctor up some footage of her in face paint and a red bandanna with an M-16 blasting her way to a helicopter with Chelsea thrown over her shoulder.

CBS laid a smackdown on Hill-bo by showing the actual footage of her walking off the plane, meeting people casually at the airbase and singing with Cheryl Crow and Sinbad at a USO event. And then they overlaid her comments from the other day, talking about ducking and running while under sniper fire.

I’m not sure I remember what I was doing 12 years ago, then again, my college days are pretty fuzzy. But I’d like to think I’d have a pretty good chance of recalling running off a plan and dodging sniper fire.

So much for that foreign policy cred she’s supposed to have over Barack Obama.

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Ok, I’ll be the first to admit it. The Thompson presidential bid didn’t go over with the bang I once thought it would. But it’s funny how things have a way of working out.

Back in April 2007 I wrote the following:

Political Derby has learned from a “source in-the-know” that Thompson’s flirtation with running is little more than a power play intended to bolster his negotiating stance on his Law & Order contract, which expires this year. Say it isn’t so Fred!

Well, Fred won’t be returning to Law & Order, but apparently it’s time to get back to work. According to the AP:

After a failed run for president, Fred Thompson is getting back to pretending to be commander in chief. Hollywood’s high-powered William Morris Agency announced this week that it has signed the actor/politician, signaling a return to the screen for the former senator from Tennessee.

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Bill Clinton latest attempt to sabotage the election (though whether directed against his wife, Barack Obama, or the Democratic party is uncertain) was his calling for an election between Hillary and John McCain, so the public could simply decide on which (America-loving) candidate would be a better leader, and the electorate could just focus on the issues.

This is funny for several reasons. 1. As repeatedly evinced in their history, the Clintons have never let issues get in the way of a good smear campaign. 2. Obama is, of course, ahead in elected delegates, with Hillary having virtually no chance of catching him. 3. Between the two Democratic camps, Hillary’s has been the race-baiting, fear-mongering, issue-avoiding champ. 4. Bill not only implies that Obama is not patriotic, but that his campaign is all about his race, whereas the Clinton spin-machine would never think to exploit or inject age, race, or, ahem, gender into a campaign.

This is just Bubba being Bubba, trying to seem relevant and caring, while smugly offering a back-handed slap at Obama. I hate to agree with Bill Richardson, but when even he calls for a new generation of leadership – and he’s not referring to the fact that he is nearly a month younger than Hillary – free from the same old political dynasties, it’s hard not to do so.

Derby regular Whodat in Texas sent along this nifty little ditty:

Military Men, whether active or retired, epitomize the term “Guard Your Flank”. Of course, the term is used often in politics, but so is the phrase, “politics makes strange bedfellows”.

McCain is still more military than he is politician. So, for McCain, guarding his flank will always be more important than sleeping around for political expediency.

For this reason, I believe that he likely has had his VP choice and his Secretary of State choice on his flanks during his Mid-East trip right now (maybe just ending today). Lieberman and Graham. Both share friendships with Big Mac that go far beyond politics. Even where they may differ in specifics, they like and trust each other – not generally, but totally.

And, the term “loyalty” is much more military than political. There is two-way loyalty among these three men that is seldom seen in politics.

So, my bet is that one of the two will be VP and the other will be Sec. of State – those two positions which can best guard the flank of any president who will define his success more in terms of the security of the USA than in the expediency of an election.

Politically, Graham on the ticket might excite Southern folks who otherwise might not be so excited about McCain’s liberal moments… Lieberman is truly a maverick of the McCain ilk an has proven he can pull it off and keep his seat against all odds and major money. Could Joe on the ticket put onneticut in play?

Maybe, but even more, it could put New York in play. Lieberman is Jewish and some of New York’s most ardent Democrat voters are uneasy with statements made by Barak’s circle. A Jewish guy on the Republican ticket might be as exciting as a parted sea!

Enough already.

Whodat says keep the Mogen David chilled…

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Governor Bill Richardson has endorsed Barack Obama in the race for the Democratic nomination. In an email sent to his supporters, Richardson acknowledged his past relationship with the Clintons, and praised both candidates:

We are blessed to have two great American leaders and great Democrats running for President. My affection and admiration for Hillary Clinton and President Bill Clinton will never waver. It is time, however, for Democrats to stop fighting amongst ourselves and to prepare for the tough fight we will face against John McCain in the fall. The 1990’s were a decade of peace and prosperity because of the competent and enlightened leadership of the Clinton administration, but it is now time for a new generation of leadership to lead America forward. Barack Obama will be a historic and a great President, who can bring us the change we so desperately need by bringing us together as a nation here at home and with our allies abroad.

And no, he didn’t beg for the VP slot in his email.

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