An Oscar… The Nobel… And a Triple?

By Contributor Archive

Filed Under Race for White House 2008 on Nov 14 

Al Gore, who I hear is in the running to be the next Dali Lama, wasn’t happy with simply doing the narration on the “documentary to end all documentaries”. He wasn’t content when he somehow garnered an Oscar and he can’t sleep soundly knowing that his Peace Prize is right where it belongs. He isn’t even placated by the fact that ManBearPig hasn’t been seen in South Park in months. No… This guy won’t be happy until he gets sweet revenge on everyone Clinton.

I picture his basement cork board plastered with cut out articles of Hillary front running and printed up sheets from PoliticalDerby with Her Thighness, as one prominent talker calls her, ensconced in first, second, and third. I can just hear him practicing his lines: “It takes the nomination out of the basket, or else it gets the hose again”.

The field is not yet set on either side, in my humble opinion, and AG is waiting in the wings. I’m a bit surprised that he isn’t in yet but, from the scuttlebutt that I’ve heard, he’s closer to in than he is to out. The Nobel sealed the deal. They say that mistakes come in threes. Could the sun shine on the same dog again? I fear so.

Al gets in because he HATES the Clintons and wants nothing more than to spoil Hillary’s moment in the sun. He is also on a roll and is the voice of a carefully crafted political message that has taken environmental issues from the obscurity of the 1970s (global COOLING anyone?) and has, perhaps, made it into one of the seminal issues in the election cycle despite the war, home foreclosures, the economy, and all of the other things that used to matter. I say that Al Gore is back soon. Let’s just hope that he leaves the beard and those sweaters back in Tennessee.

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7 Comments

  1. Toby on 14.11.2007 at 11:34 (Reply)

    he’s not going to run. if he’s going after the Clintons at all, it will be through endorsement. Some pretty close sources said that he’ll be endorsing Obama, and fairly close to the Iowa caucus, but early enough to capitalize on the boost it would give. I imagine early December.

    I’ll try and find the source. Isn’t it too late to get into most of the primaries anyways?

  2. AndDru1 on 14.11.2007 at 12:18 (Reply)

    “I can just hear him practicing his lines: “It takes the nomination out of the basket, or else it gets the hose again”.”

    I love it. I really hope no one spoils the Hillary nomination though.

  3. Gary Russell on 14.11.2007 at 12:23 (Reply)

    Great post, Jonathan!!!
    Looking forward to many more.
    Good find, Jason!!!

  4. PSU2007 on 14.11.2007 at 12:42 (Reply)

    Gore can’t run now, I don’t think. Not unless he runs on the DPB ticket. (Dying Polar Bears) There isn’t time to get on the ballots. I do think however that he dreams at night of how to screw Hillary.

  5. Gary Russell on 14.11.2007 at 15:34 (Reply)

    PSU2007,

    If so, he is probably the only man on the planet who has that particular dream!

    Oh…wait…you meant politically…nevermind!

  6. David Kaiser on 14.11.2007 at 15:39 (Reply)

    I was wondering when someone was going to park that pitch… it was a hanging curveball begging to be crushed. Nice one Gary!

  7. Troy La Mana on 16.11.2007 at 11:31 (Reply)

    I think this about sums it up…

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